Hey Shannon,
Firstly I am in awe of your honesty. I follow you specifically because of that.
I feel so damn ugly, and I can’t help but feel like the world judges me harshly for that.
The world does judge you harshly, but you judge yourself far worse than they ever will. Perhaps what you “feel” is that they pretend not to judge, “nice” is how that manifests. I was a drug addict for many years, so I know how that goes. I relate to you but offer no pity. Pity is the cruellest thing a person can give to someone on the verge of change. Something deep inside you is calling, you are hearing its voice and you are afraid to answer.
What are you afraid of?
And why must I have this deep desire to be beautiful? There is nothing wrong with not walking around looking one’s best. Letting ourselves go isn’t a character flaw or moral failing.
Do you truly believe that? I don’t think you do, otherwise, why would you write this article? My take away from Narcotics Anonymous was that the symptom of my suffering was incorrectly diagnosed, by me, as the cause.
I love you because you are honest. I love you because you are weak. I love you because that is the only way for me to love me.