Retentioneering Gets Clingy

We’ve all been there. You’re just out at night on the Internet, not looking to meet any new apps. It’s been a long day. It’s about to be a Netflix kind of night. Then a Growth Hacker approaches you and catches your eye. They’re kind of cute, maybe they give you a funny one-liner like:

So you give them a chance and stay out. You stay up all night chatting, they’re buying you free eBooks all night… it’s actually a great time! You give them your email, and you’re feeling adventurous, so you even take the app home with you.

The next morning, you wake up and the app’s using your computer.
(“Did I give it permission for that…?”)

You try to remember what happened the night before. Why did you think this was a good idea again? They were great at storytelling — something was always happening next you couldn’t believe…

Kind of a red flag, but they’re harmless and cheeky about it. All in good fun. At least this app didn’t tell all your friends you hooked up, like the last one!

But a few days pass and you just aren’t that into the app. You fall out of touch. It was one time, you don’t owe them an unsubscribe letter. People get busy, right? Making it “official” might make it weirder anyway.

A few weeks later the emails start.

Oh, boy. Ok, maybe you could’ve been more direct. Hey, the app was pretty mature about it, you can return the favor, why not? You’ll try to remember to write them back this weekend.

What the…

Holy crap, not writing back now! This is more of a Mark as Spam situation. Why does it feel like every time you try to open your Inbox to the world you end up getting hurt?

You deserve better.