I WAITED FOR YOU

I Waited for you.

I waited for you to come back to me.

I waited for you to love me.

I waited for you to make me feel as if I was enough.

I waited for you to validate me.

I waited for you to save me.

I was you and you were me.

Where you ended I began, where I began you ended.

I needed a hero, I waited for you to be my hero.

I prayed you’d come and save me.

I prayed so hard, I asked God to bring you back to me.

But you didn’t come, you didn’t come to save me.

I prayed for my hero to come but they never did.

So I had to stop waiting, I couldn’t wait any longer.

Waiting was killing me slowly and I could feel it.

Once I stopped waiting, I started living again.

I forgot how much I loved living.

I forgot how much loved loving.

I forgot how much laughing brought me joy.

I used to love wine, I used to love cooking.

I was a good cook, and I loved baking, I made the best red velvet chocolate chip cookies.

I forgot how much my friends loved me, I forget how much my family loved me.

I used to really love life and I was good at it, so good at it.

Somehow my world became you, and I lived for you.

As I began to live again I realized why you fell out of love with me.

Because I had stopped loving life and living it.

But you know what I also realized once I stopped waiting was that you let me, you let me make you my world.

It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair, that I was punished because you were selfish.

But you know what its ok, because , when I stopped waiting for you, when I stopped waiting for God to send me a hero, I found one.

I found a hero and that hero was me.

So thank you for not saving me, because I didn’t need any saving, because God had already done that, I just needed a little searching and what I found

Was me again. I found that risk taker I once was and I like her a lot and she didn’t need saving, she didn’t need a hero, she simply needed to remember,

That she was the hero in this story, she took risks and leaps of faith and knew that they would land her exactly where she needed to be.

So no more waiting for me, no more waiting for the time to be right, or for me to be ready

Because If I would have waited for you to be ready or me to be ready to let you go, I would have never been ready.