Islam & My Hijabs Story
Meaning of Life & Depression
I was 25 and I had left my job in finance and I was suffering from depression. I just got up and quit one day. My best friend was Muslim and she tried to help me but I was struggling with my religion. Christianity. I was not willing to accept that my non-Christian friends, many who were much nicer and generally better human beings than I was, were all going to hell and there was no proper explanation as to why. I was also not interested in being told that Jesus died for my sins, when not once does Jesus say anything about this in the Bible. Also by the looks of my life and the life of others in the world… we are all suffering all the time. What reason is there for this?
I looked into Judaism, hoping to get some inspiration from there but I found the religion very racist and stingy. They had a belief that God only loved us, and that we did not owe anything to others. I found some of their beliefs hypocritical though.
Revert to Islam
Also I was reading the Quran at the same time and it just made so much more sense to me. Funnily enough people keep saying the Quran is violent but I don’t think they have read the Torah or the bible in it’s entirety.I then began reading the Quran in it’s entirety and it just captured me fully. Reading it o knew nobody but Allah (swt) could have written this and everything just made sense. There was a sensible reasoning behind the commands.
I no longer felt lost. I had been sleeping around and drinking for 2 years non stop and within one night I stopped all of it and I knew that I would not be doing those things again. The love of islam overflowed in my heart and I was determined to become a proper Muslim. Yes there are hypocrites in Islam but islam itself is not a hypocrite unlike the other religions where the books themselves show glimmer of hyprocrisy.
I started attending various classes with 2 of my Muslim friends and the more I learned the more I became dedicated.
I decided to wear the hijab 6 months into learning about Islam. Once I was certain. Some people tried to force me to wear it early but I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. I took my time as a dear friend said it’s better to go slowly than to rush. The first day I wore my hijab, a simple head covering, my heart was pounding and thoughts were racing through my head as to what people would think.
When I went out I got some backlash from family and friends but a lot of people were also supportive. I will be honest the first 3 weeks I was putting it on or taking it off. But gradually I became comfortable. I started to feel like me in the hijab. I felt like the hijab was becoming a part of me and from then onwards I knew there was no going back.
Hijab is not restrictive it’s actually quite liberating and with so many options available I could be fussy with colours and still dress up a little!
I have been a Muslim for 5 years now and will be getting married to a lovely Muslim man who ethics are amazing. For me Islam has been a game changer. Where I was drifting through life, now I know exactly where I want to be. I will be sharing more of my life in the next posts!