My Choose Yourself Story

This is exciting, and a little scary.

I am giving away electronic copies of Choose Yourself by James Altucher to anyone who may be interested. This is one of my favorite book I’ve read over the past year, and I’m normally not a fan of books like this.

Below is a story on why I am giving this book away, I believe anyone can benefit from the message in this book. If you want a copy of the book please email me atrey@reynoldliang.com. if you will promise to read the book within next 6 weeks. I
This is a story about my choose yourself journey during the last 6 months and a psychedelic experience:

I came across James’s work about 6 months ago while driving and listening to Tim Ferriss’s podcast. Immediately, I become a fan of James’s material because of how honest he is and the intelligent insights he offer on various topics. So naturally I started listening to his podcasts and reading his writings for fun.

Ironically, 2 weeks after I stumble into James’s material, I was fired from my job as an agency recruiter. I had asked for a raise right after I told my employer I will not be comfortable lying to people with no jobs so I can take advantage of them later with the information I extract from them while we were going through my 90 days performance review. (Brilliant. I know.)

The week before I go fired, my employer told me “keep up the good work Rey, we really like you and your work ethics. We can really see you driving in a Maserati one day” (Besides using a car for transportation purposes, I have as much interest in cars as a blind person have for the Mona Lisa).

This was the fourth company I worked for since I graduated college two years ago. I was finally able to see the truth: I am just not cut out for the corporate world.

I hated befriending people I don’t like, taking order from people I don’t respect, listening to things I have zero interest in (especially sports and gossips), sitting in traffic, trading 2 weeks of freedom for a full year of slavery while the most vital years of my life is slowly drifting by me everyday, being told to lie to people, call me crazy: but putting in 80–100% of the work for 30–10% of the profit sounds like a terrible deal to me.

The idea that we need to “pay our dues” is a lie told to us by people who wanted our effort and labor on the cheap.

- James Altucher

I thought I had to “pay my dues” so I can get my freedom back one day, I didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that my employers had hired me so they can have a little more of their freedom by putting a price tag on mine. I tried to purchae happiness with the currency of unhappiness as James will put it. (which is something that will never work) Every day I was putting another brick on someone else’s dream and putting one on my own cell walls simultaneously. My creativity was stagnant, along with other aspects of my life.

For some reason I just couldn’t keep my acts together or keeping my mouth shut with any of these previous employers I worked for without getting fired. So I decided to choose myself. How? I had no clue.

I was lost, but I started writing down ideas for things that I could do to offer a value for others and put them down on my own personal website. I begin reading, listening, taking online classes, and learning anything I can possibly get my hands on to get myself more knowledgeable about anything that can make myself more valuable: money, negotiating, choosing myself, marketing, philosophy, art and anything that strikes my interest. I learned more over the past 6 months than I ever did from my years in school.

One night I thought it will be a good idea for me to eat some Psilocybin mushrooms so I can “figure out” my situation. The friend that was suppose to facilitate the experience ended up canceling the last minute, so I ate the mushrooms by myself.

I spent the next few hours in my bed crying my eyes out, terrified, feeling lost, and scared out of my mind.

I was crying not because I was under the influence, but because I had no idea on how to live the life I want by my own terms, I felt out of control. I knew what I want in my life, but it was obvious that I was stuck and lost. I had to face the fact that a lot of the self assurance I had in the past was simply a mirage of my own ego covering up my flaws. I lived in a house that was built under a foundation that won’t last.

A few hours into my journey, a light bulb turned on in my head. All of a sudden, the importance of strengthening the creativity and mental muscle James have been talking incessantly about finally made sense to me that night. I’ve listened and read about the concept for months, but it never registered. I will read about it, nod, and move on with my life like much of the information I absorb everyday. (This was before I read Choose Yourself)

Out of the blue it was all clear to me, I finally understood why ideas are much more valuable than money and why this simple concept works from a fundamental level. So I wrote down 10 ideas and sent it to 10 people that I felt close to in my life. Some of the ideas were good, most of them were bad. This was the start of my new journey.

Instead of thinking about how I can survive and make a living, I started to offer people around me value, and not ask for or expect anything in return. (Now writing down 10–30 ideas a day is something I do as part of my daily routine with no exceptions)

I made the commitment to take care of myself mentally, physically, emotional, and spiritually starting that day, and my life have turned completely upside down for the better.

I start working on new exciting projects I wasn’t able to work on before. (I love working as long as it’s something I believe in). For example: I was able to work on the design work for a well known magazine and infographic materials for a well known internet entrepreneur. (Thank you Anja!) I worked on both online and offline web marketing strategy for companies that I find interesting. Including: a popular meditation app company, a bio tracker device company, a collaborative software company in the design field…), I got to work with many self publishers, writers, artists, yogis, spiritual teachers, teachers, and entrepreneurs… people in all walks of life. I even got invited to work at the Dave Asprey’s bio hacking conference (which is something that I wanted to check out but had no money to afford), I also got to work with a new virtual reality company in another country that is looking to redefine the way the public experiences live events.

Most importantly: I got to work with the people I like and respect, on projects that excites me.

I didn’t get paid by everyone I worked with. But it doesn’t matter, because I learned from these experiences, and I was also able to create a new network.

I even emailed ideas to people like Lewis Howes, Derek Halpern, Dave Asprey, Ramit Sethi, Tucker Max, James (I did it through itunes review) … and other “harder to reach” people. If there is someone that interests me I will do my best to come up with ideas for them and reach out to them every week without expecting anything in return. (Surprisingly a lot of people actually got back to me!) Some of the people I reached out to became my friends and my mentor, I even got the chance to join their mastermind groups!

Over the last few months I learned how to drive traffic, how to articulate my thoughts better, how to develop a brand, how to write a copy, how to deliver a marketing message, how to get a customer, how to get to a mutual yes, how to develop a product, how to run a webinars, how to start a podcast, how to market on social media, how to get press publicity, how to design sales funnels, how to self publish, and how to teach and develop information courses online (my first course is coming out in January

), how to establish a morning routine so I won’t be distracted, how to communicate… the list goes on, and I’m still learning every day!

I learned to let go of my excuses: English is not my first language, I don’t have enough experience, I don’t have enough money, I don’t have enough time, I am not confident enough, I don’t have enough connections, my past fucked me up… blah blah blah, I am not enough. (ugh! what the hell Rey)

I learned how to rely on myself, how to hold myself accountable. (starting out, I had ZERO discipline)

I learned how to reach out to people. I learned to connect the people my network and plant my seeds.

I learned how to ask for help, and how to give up on help. The truth is: no one will help you until you choose to help yourself first.

Seeking ‘support’ is resistance at it’s most seductive

- Steven Pressfield

I learned to surround myself with the people I can love, people I can respect, people I can have fun with, and people that supports me. I made many new friends along the way (thank you guys!).

I’ve learned how to be better at identifying the people that are just paying me lip services, giving me a bad deal, pulling me down, draining my energy or people that are not working towards a mutual win. ( I had many instances where someone will left me cold in the dark after I spent hours and weeks doing “spec” work for them.)

I learned to move on, to let go of blame and resentment when things don’t go my way.

I learned to give without asking or expecting something in return. I learned to stop making everything about me.

I learned to dance a little better with uncertainty every single day. I learned the importance of going through life every single day with a fresh pair of eyes, seeing it as a gift, and look for the abundance that is all around me.

I learned to be grateful for the things I have and everything around me. I learned to breathe in the intoxicating air that is the present.

I learned to live my life in a state of awe and a space of question, instead of trying to make everything I do into a statement.

I learned to start asking better questions and drop the shitty ones. (i.e “why didn’t it work?” to “what can I do about this?”, “what if I fail?” to “what does it it take to make this work”, “what do I have to do today?” to “how can I make today a day that I will remember”…at times it can still be hard, because I don’t see it)

I learned to speak my mind (it helps the wrong person weed themselves out), value my own self worth, value my time, and learn to be honest with myself and others on a level that wasn’t there before. (I don’t lie to people, but it’s never easy for me to be vulnerable)

I learned to walk around a little more naked every days so I can attract the people that can accept me for who I am. (metaphorically, but I don’t mind physically as well)

I learned how to shut up and listen- Most people that I am talking with are smarter than me, the last thing I need is to ruin the moment by running my mouth to show them how much I know. Plus I never really hear what the other person is saying when I am too busy talking inside my head. (what a waste of time. Now I have to speculate what they are saying!)

I learned how to be okay with making a fool out of myself, being okay with making mistakes and being completely embarrassed in front of other people and my own ego.

There are days I will wake up determined to get my work done. Then Whoosh! Before I know, my whole day is gone. Done, and down the drain from mindless procrastination. Somehow I will still be able to indulge in that “just one more” distraction, whether it’s: listening to a song, watch a video, a text, a trivial conversation, read an article, or just plain wasting time on social media after my whole day is gone.

There are days I will be so scared and so paralyzed by my fear I will sleep for 10+ hours than continue to lay in bed for the next few hours only to listen to the thoughts in my head go on and on, and on…

I still constantly worry about where I am going to get my next paycheck, my next gig, my next deal, how I am going to make rent… etc

But I would rather be my own tyrant than have someone else tyrannize me.

– Henry Flagler

So I learned to humor my insecurities and take action anyways. (Dude, you’re funny. But we’re doing this anyways) Eventually, even I got sick from the stench of my own excuses. I’ve learned to start fresh and take small steps every day though my whirlwind of self doubt, self indulgence, and self sabotage.

Sometimes I will see me comparing myself with other people and say “god, they are doing so much better than me!”, than I realize the person I am comparing myself to don’t want the same thing I want, don’t love the same thing I love, don’t seek the same thrill I seek, and they don’t experience life the way I do. I am enjoying my journey, and I respect it.

I have no dreams of owning things (except myself), making multiple millions, or building a successful start-up empire that will change the world . It doesn’t get me off. I love life, I love music, and I love surfing. (I’m simple)

My dream is to be able to write/play music, surf explore the world freely, go to shows, have experiences that leaves me in awe, learn, grow, be around people that I love, work on my terms, own myself, stay healthy, and experience the excitement of life with every fiber and pore of my being while not having to worry about the bills, or living small. I want to explore the depth of my own potentials, and rip off the roof of my own limitations.

I want to do this by helping the people around me (and the people I can influence) live a better and easier life by providing value for them with honesty and integrity while having fun doing it.

In the last few months I got to surf every day, not have to wake up to an alarm clock, write about things that interests me, work on projects that excites me me, read and learn about things that fascinates me, create, write and learn more about music more than I’ve ever had in my life (something I haven’t been able to do for a while), work with people that have the same interest in me, be around the people that I love, check out the things I want to check out. (for free!).

Thanks to the internet, I can work with people all around the world! Every day I am more and more excited about my future, every day I live a little freer, because I learned to understand myself better, how to work with myself, how to be more gentle with myself each day. I am grateful for all of this.

I learned to choose myself. I learned to be nothing so I can be everything. I learned to start, and stop waiting for myself to be perfect. And most importantly: I learned to love myself. (more than ever! ☺)

I am not saying I got it all figured out, because I don’t. I know I am only getting started, and there are still countless potential failures and setbacks in front of me. Things might not go my way, and I might panic. There will be lessons to learn and lessons to relearn, but I can honestly say I am happy with what I am doing and where I am going with my life.

James’s work not only inspired me, but it got me to take action. I am beyond grateful. Thank you James!

The ideas in this book is simple and that’s why it works. I hope you can choose yourself too, whatever that may means to you.

Last but not least, I want to thank all of you who were a part of my journey, I am grateful for you!

Rey

As always, feel free to email me at rey@reynoldliang.com if you want to discuss about anything!