God is calling me! I can no longer run.

I am Rey Oliver Fabros or people used to call me “King, a missionary of the United Methodist Church that will be assigned in Asian Rural Institute in Japan for 2 years. This is a farm school that invite and train local grassroots leaders to more effectively serve in their communities as they work for the poor, the hungry, and the marginalized.

I literally grew up in the church because my parents are pastors. I can say that this vocation of my dad and mom is not easy. It is really all about living by faith. Their salary is not enough to provide for my needs and of my 4 siblings. Especially when all my 3 siblings went to college all at the same time. My allowance in my Elementary and Highschool days is not really enough, I have to choose if I will eat my snacks in the morning or will have my lunch or have my snacks in the afternoon. I am always hungry and envy my classmates because they have much to eat and most of the time when they are calling me I am just pretending that I am full. I still remember the day that I said to myself, someday I will become rich and will buy many foods and will put it in our refrigerator and we can eat anything we want. Unlimited and without worrying what to eat the next day.

I grow up hating the church, because as pastor’s kid, I have seen how my dad and mom work hard but still we have a poor life. I keep on asking, where is the grace of God? If He loves His people, why is He allowing us to suffer? Besides that, it’s a norm that I should wake up early every Sunday, join the choir even if I sound like a frog, teach children’s Sunday school for kids and you can’t just say NO! It’s mandatory to join summer camps, church activities and all stuffs. And if you did something wrong, people would say “You are a son of pastors, why are you behaving that way?” I hate the church and I really don’t want to work in the church. I just want to go away and not be affiliated in church anymore. I don’t want to become pastor either. I want to become Engineer or Architect so that I will be rich.

When I was in highschool, my mom told me to lead the youths in our church (in Ramon UMC). With conviction, I said “NO”. But I can’t do anything. I guess this is my first calling from God and really if God calls you, you cannot run from it. Here I found joy in serving Him and started to lead the youths, organized practice of praise and worship and fellowships dance group of the church. I found happiness in serving Him. My passion to serve God started.

I took up Electrical Engineering in college. In the first year of college, I have subjects about philosophical thinking, evolution and subject about how the planets were made. I doubted God’s existence and I just can’t accept the guilt because I don’t believe God anymore and I am a pastor’s kid. How ironic! In this time when I needed God the most, one day when I was alone in a park, a missionary approached me and she asked me if I want to ask her anything. I tell her all my questions and doubts and she answered the problem of evolution and philosophy by using the Bible. Thanks to this missionary, I was able to believe God again and accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and savior I become more passionate in serving God and started a campus ministry in my University and I start loving my church so much that I can even die for it.

But still, life’s challenges didn’t stop there. My Engineering subjects and Mathematics just made me crazy. I can’t even understand a single x,y,z formula. In my third year I just realized that it is not what I want to do in life. It is not my passion. It will take me 10 years if I continue this, I told myself. I found myself contemplating about my first love. I remembered my childhood days when I used to read like tons of Encyclopedia. I am in love with nature and environment and that is what I want to do in life. And I found out that my University is offering a course that is promoting social development and one of its major is focused in Community and Environment Resource planning. I shifted to a course that is so much involved in immersions to different communities and look at how the environment affects people’s lives.

I no longer want to become Engineer or Architect but be that someone going out to the community and serving the people. Be that someone that of service that advocates.

So when I graduated, while waiting for a call from companies, I tried this link of General Board of Global Ministries and tried to apply. I just think it supports my advocacy and at the same time I can serve my church.

Really, we have our plans in life, but at the end of the day GOD HAS BIGGER PLANS FOR ME THAN I HAVE FOR MYSELF. As I reflect, I have seen how God just pave the way for me to become a missionary. The days when I was a kid thinking of foods, times when I cursed the church, when I was in college and met a missionary, how I found Jesus in the darkness of my life and how God assigned me as missionary in Japan advocating food for all. I believe God has prepared everything. I may not be able to have that Engineer, or Architect title but at least I have that “Missionary” title and I am proud of it.

What if we have enough food when I was a kid? Then I might not be able to know the feeling of without nothing. Then I do not have the heart to fight for equality in food. What if I become Engineer? Then all I want is to become rich. Then I might not be able to experience God in creation. What if my parents are not pastors? Then I may not be able to see God’s grace working in His servants. What if a missionary didn’t approach me? Then I ended up Atheist. The world needs to hear the love of Jesus. The world needs missions. So I appeal to everyone to please join me in my new path. Please pray for me and all the missionaries in the world. If you have heart for missions but can’t make it, you can support the program through your financial. And I encourage the young people like me to stand up for Jesus and join this program. The world needs you! Jesus needs you as His hands and feet.