A whole lot of honesty, some good sense and sound judgment. A writer who focuses on helping you better yourself. rubanribeiro@gmail.com

When you become too emotionally exhausted to be in a relationship, time apart refocuses the mind.

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Photo by Khadeeja Yasser on Unsplash


Understanding when your sacrifice means nothing to them.

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Photo by Banter Snaps on Unsplash

The start is high, the high is the start

A fun person to be around, bubbly and excited about life. I was ambitious, full of dreams and had tasks to keep me focused. Our common, little interests kept us in contact. We grew fond of each other after a few dates and before I knew it, I was in love.

Your typical love story at hand.

Things were great from the very first day until about half a year in. There wasn’t a dip, things didn’t suddenly go bad… It was more of a pause in the climb. We sat at an unstable height for a couple of years.


Understanding the predicament of having limited choices.

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Photo by Yoel Peterson on Unsplash

“This is just the way I am.”

A statement of self-understanding, or a stance to continue detrimental stubborn behavior?

When you meet someone and you get interested in them romantically, you get to know the person by conversing, doing things together, there is visual and verbal communication.

The requirement one must have to say these few words is a sign of misunderstanding on both people involved.

Think about the time you met someone special. You both sit at a nice restaurant and get to talking — Were you expecting them to tell you the way they are or did you…


Clear signs appear much earlier than the wondering question.

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Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

When you get to the point where you have to ask if you’re being manipulated or if the…


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Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

There are certain, general patterns you can follow in what you would consider “notable changes in long term relationships,” however, the cause for these changes (the bad ones worth mentioning) are not primarily that a relationship is now well oiled and aged and so there are bound to be bad episodes— It’s about the people in it.

I’ll explain.

In my current relationship, we both love our personal space but we love being with each other more. …


It’s not so much about happiness as it is about purpose, meaning.

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Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash

From afar the general answer is clear,

“Of course we’re less happy as we grow older! There’s new responsibility we never had to worry about before. Our bodies begin to ache in places we didn’t know could hurt. Things that were once easy, are now difficult.”

I believe as you get older you look less for the immediate rush that younger folk hunger for, every moment of their prosperous lives. You are more concerned with prolonged happiness. The suffering of today for the permanent or sustainable betterment of the future. …


How living in a bubble is my way to success.

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Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash

I’m not afraid to tell you the truth. After all, I am telling you my truth. At the very least, the way you interpret what I say here will resonate in some form.

Right, then. It has been about a month since New Year and you are either exactly the same as last year or you’re not.

The resolutions, the day-dreaming and sleepless mumbling prayers, head taps you give yourself to force encouragement, a new self-disciplinary attitude — You get the idea.

Most people, myself included, ride a wave of meaning and success only to crash and end up back…


It’s not even primarily about ignoring someone, but saving everyone.

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Photo by Thomas Kinto on Unsplash

The Google definition states that ghosting is ‘the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.’

I won’t argue that it’s incorrect, but I don’t believe the definition is complete.

In my experience, ghosting is an immediate solution to chaos — Usually in the form of a person. A person you’ve tried to speak to many times before, only to be hurt, every time.

There isn’t much else to do if the foundation that helps create, maintain and at times end a relationship with civility, (communication) is off limit.

At some…


Short guide to understanding whatever you do is truly not as bad as doing nothing at all.

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Photo by Stefan Cosma on Unsplash

I’ve been telling myself this for years,

“It’s not that I do nothing, it’s that I do nothing that consists of doing something for a long, long period of time.”

This is what I tell myself when failure looms over my work like a shadow. It’s waiting for me to get a bit of sunlight. Just enough light for me to begin enjoying the warmth and joy of what I do. That’s when it strikes.

It creeps in as does doubt, among other worries that come with trying to be any sort of thing in this world.

That’s okay, though.


The idea or thought of being there for your loved one isn’t enough.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

I’ve had a relationship for a few years where my partner did not know what she wanted to do. She had a big interest in psychology, went to school, but ultimately had no path. None to follow and none created.

Although I supported her and helped her with all I could, believing in someone and cheering them on eventually becomes detrimental to yourself and the relationship — A constant, unconditional support system tells the other person what they’re doing is correct. It’s enough, there’s no need to change (progress).

She seemed content with life, as was I, for a time.

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