I can’t be bothered

To be honest praying has become like a ritual to me, as if I’m just doing it so I can get it over and done with. Just praying for the sake of it but I don’t know how to change it up, trying it make my prayer mean something rather than just saying words to fill up a blank space in my life. I want my prayers to be powerful every single time. But honestly at the end of the day it all comes down to one thing:

I can’t be bothered.

And that is the worst feeling in the world. I want to be bothered but I give into my flesh too easily. Matthew 6:5 pretty much clears that up for me.

“When you pray, don’t be like the hypocrites who love to pray publicly on street corners and in the synagogues where everyone can see them. I tell you the truth, that is all the reward they will ever get.”

I feel like I’m beginning to measure how good my prayer is by the amount of words i say or the complexity of the words i use when in reality it’s not about the amount of words that are spoken but the sincerity in our hearts. That is what God looks at our hearts so shouldn’t that be the only thing that matters? Not what everyone else is thinking. It is as if we are having a conversation with someone on stage and afterwards we are hoping the ‘audience members’ will congratulate you after about your performance. But is that really worth your relationship with God?

Truth be told I am not the best person when it comes to praying but then again what is the perfect prayer? So when you pray your heart, mind and soul should be fixed on God for those few moments because every single second of every single day God’s heart and mind is fixed on you.