BREAKING THE SILENCE

Recognizing Abuse

It is extremely important for young adults to be able to recognize warning signs of a problematic relationship, before an abusive situation escalates. The most common indicators of high-risk emotional or physical abuse are below:

EMOTIONAL ABUSE

• Tone: Seemingly harmless statements can transform into threats or insults if your partner uses a disparaging or aggressive tone.
• Language choice: A partner blames you for things or uses coarse language, such as swear words, while speaking to you.
• Jealousy: Your partner seems suspicious of your interactions with other people. Your partner attempts to control your interactions, isolate you, or monitor your communications with others.
• Controlling statements: Your partner issues commands or often says you “must” or “have to” do something.
• Pejorative language: Your partner addresses or describes you with insulting names or adjectives, such as “stupid”.
• Threats: Your partner attempts to control you with “or else” statements or negative consequences if you don’t comply with their wishes. Your partner might threaten you with physical, emotional, or verbal abuse.

PHYSICAL ABUSE

• Violence: Your partner uses unwanted and forceful contact. This can include anything from wrist grabs to strikes against your body.
• Threatening body language: Your partner uses forceful movements, such as lunging toward you, glaring at your, or aggressively invading your personal space.
• Damaging property: Your partner has lost their temper and damaged items around the house, such as smashing dishes.
• Violence during sex: Your partner is extremely forceful or even violent during sex.

Measuring Sexual Assault on College Campus

Brown University:

According to the Washington Post, 25% of student at Brown reported being victims of non-consensual sexual contact, among undergraduate men, the rate as 7%.

“For Brown, the report reinforces our Sexual Assault Task Force’s call to action for confronting the very real problem of gender-based harassment and violence,” Brown President Christina Paxson said. “The results of the survey establish a clear baseline against which we can assess ourselves going forward and will continue to inform ongoing education and prevention efforts to address these problems.”

Columbia University:

23% of student at Columbia students reported being victims of non-consensual sexual contact, among undergraduate men the rate was 4%.

In a letter to the campus community, Columbia’s president, Lee Bollinger, wrote of the AAU survey:

“Its core data confirm our understanding that sexual harassment and assault take place at unacceptable rates and cause harm both to individuals and to our community. As members of a university community, each of us must recognize this happens in our midst, act to prevent it, and provide support when incidents occur.”

He announced that a task force of students, faculty and administrators would work on strategies.

Cornell University:

23% of student at Columbia students reported being victims of non-consensual sexual contact, among undergraduate men the rate was 6%.

Student “sexual assault is a serious national problem, occurring with unacceptable frequency at Cornell and on campuses across the country,” Cornell President Elizabeth Garrett said. “The results also underscore there is still more work to be done to educate and to help protect our students. Even one instance of sexual assault on our campus is one too many.”

Harvard University:

26% of student at Harvard students reported being victims of non-consensual sexual contact, among undergraduate men the rate was 7%.

“These deeply disturbing survey results must spur us to an even more intent focus on the problem of sexual assault,” Harvard President Drew Gilpin Faust said in a letter to the university community.

Texas A&M University:

15% of student at Texas A&M students reported being victims of non-consensual sexual contact, among undergraduate men the rate was 3%.

The university’s president, Michael K. Young, said he was heartened that it didn’t seem to be as widespread a problem on his campus as elsewhere, “and we were very heartened by how strongly the students seemed to feel that we would take it seriously and would do the right thing — that was much higher than the national average.”

Perceptions/Common Myths of Sexual Assaults:

• Myth: Sexual assault is not common.
• Reality: Sexual assault continues to be a rapidly growing violent crime in America. 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men has experienced raped or an attempted rape in their lifetime.
• Myth: Women provoke being sexually assaulted and raped.
• Reality: Unfortunately, many people blame the victim. The reality is that nothing a person does or wears can make another person act in a particular way. Each individual is in control of their behavior
• Myth: It isn’t a real rape unless there are injuries.
• Reality: 70% of rape victims report no physical injury. However, 49% describe being fearful of serious injury or death during the rape.

Most people are under the impression that rape alone is sexual assault. Contrary to popular belief, it is also the controlling behavior, physical or verbal abuse and threats of physical violence that constitutes sexual assault.

Although college provides students the environment to have intimate relationships that are both casual and serious, experienced partners may not have the tools and experience needed to identify troubling behaviors (bestcolleges.com).

“According surveys from the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence (NCDSV), over 40 percent of college women reported experiencing some form of violent or abusive behavior while dating (http://www.bestcolleges.com/resources/preventing-sexual-assault/?):

Sexual Assault Perpetrators:

Similarly, sexual assault can happen to anyone. According to the National Institute of Justice, “sexual assault may occur in any type of relationship, but most perpetrators of sexual assault are known to their victims”.

We interviewed Dr. Jan Deed who is the director of the women center and the associate director of Student Involvement to learn a little more about how our own campus handles sexual assault.

Prevention

There are a number of ways to both reduce your chances of becoming a victim. For instance, many colleges offer personal development courses in basic self-defense. You may also explore your local Y, nearby gyms, and dedicated martial arts studios to learn about their training options.

BASIC SAFETY GUIDELINES

• Know your alcohol limits: Intoxication can make you significantly more vulnerable to assaults by impairing your judgment or inhibiting your physical ability to fight off an attacker. Binge drinkers are at a particularly high-risk of suffering incapacitation, blackout or unconsciousness.
• Watch your drinks: Take your drink to the restroom with you. Never drink a beverage that has been given to you by someone else or taken from a communal alcohol source.
• Trust your gut: If you get a bad feeling about a location or a person, leave immediately. We often subconsciously process body language and other danger indicators without realizing it. If something feels very wrong or you feel pursued, head in the direction of the nearest crowd, lighted area or building.
• Stick with your friends: Attend social gatherings with a group of friends that you trust. Look out for each other and help each other arrive home safely. If you do go out alone, always tell someone where you are going and avoid walking in unlit areas.