Are you creating an ugly version of yourself?

Every single thing you do in your life; the company you have when no one else is around; the voice, the soul, the intangible thing that makes you human- revolves around the person in charge of the individual universe that encompasses it all…YOU. Have you ever wondered why you didn’t get that job? Or maybe a second date with that guy? Or don’t feel that sense of pride when reflecting on yourself as a person? You may be guilty of committing some seemingly irrelevant social crimes to cause such outcomes. There are many things that can make us seem “ugly”, but you may not realise that this is what you’re doing. So here’s some of the main reasons why you are creating an ugly version of yourself.

Assuming that ugliness is determined by physical features is the first conscious change you need to make. High cheekbones, perfect eyebrows, nice hair… are not goals that should be aimed for in order to become a beautiful person. Granted, one could purchase that “must-have” brow/contour/hair gel kit in order to appear more beautiful on the superficial, physical scale… but why is it that most stores are bombarding us with overflowing quantities of beauty products, yet internal beauty of the soul is not emphasized as much in our world? A beautiful character supersedes an aesthetically pleasing outer shell every time.

Body language and smiling. Body language is 55% of communication between people and even animals. Our bodies produce and react to body language primitively sometimes, but it is in our control if we are conscious of our subtle actions and feelings. Leaning forward to show engagement, maintaining eye contact if you are receiving important or personal information, opening your folded arms and legs to demonstrate openness to a conversation or to a stranger to reassure them that you are listening and care. Generally, if open, engaged and friendly body language is received, then whoever is on the receiving end will feel more welcome. Small gestures and posture changes make a huge difference to how you interact with the world.

Negativity can have more of an effect than many people think. I like to call negative people energy vampires and you may be one of them. Some say negativity is simply an interpretation of a realist… but the difference is you can be a positive realist. Being rational with your own thoughts and actions yet always seeing the ideal possibilities too. If you lose your keys, your job, your lover- rather than dwelling on the loss, remind yourself that things will work out/to remember that this will lead to opportunities that would’ve never occurred before/to feel grateful for what you had.

Lack of Appreciation speaks for itself. Those two words that roll off the tongue, don’t hurt to say, warm words of “thank you”. They may go unnoticed sometimes. They may be uttered through gritted teeth sometimes. They may not even come from the apex base of your heart sometimes. But speaking them, hearing them, and meaning them go a long way. Saying them whenever appropriate leads you to count your blessings. Even the fact that you are privileged enough to be reading this on a screen, most probably in comfort, proves many blessings you have already and should feel humbled for.

No ambition. Being humble and having ambition go hand in hand. A successful person started with ambition. With success, we have a choice of whether to be humble or brag of such successes. Remember that success is tangible. What we really aim for as people is to become valuable. A valuable person started with dreams turned ambitions turned their reality.

Everything I have pointed out will lead to a person with confidence. One of the most attractive traits of any soul, no matter how they look on the outside.

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