No Time for “Half-Way” Love

I humbly admit, at this time in my life, I don’t know how to love someone “half-in” or “half-way”. I’m fifty-two years old. I’ve done it before and I just don’t want to anymore. And I don’t want anyone to “sort of” be in love with me. I don’t have time for “almost in” love relationships.

I don’t want to hold surface conversations with shallow words and topics (not for long anyway). I want to go deep. I want to know you and I want you to know me. The lyrics of Rascal Flatts song Take Me There sums it up like this: “there’s a place in your heart, nobody’s been, take me there. Things nobody knows, not even your friends, take me there…I want to know everything about you…” that’s the kind of connection I seek. I want our “soul print boxes” to intersect as the spiritual teacher and philosopher, Marc Gafni speaks about in his book Soul Prints: Your Path to Fulfillment. We can’t get to “soul print” connections on the surface. I don’t want to withhold compliments or touches. I want you to know I appreciate what I see and I want you to feel my touch. And I want it reciprocated. I want to feel safe, wanted and heard.

I can no longer tolerate pretense or to act like things don’t bother me when they do, or act like I don’t see or hear what I see and hear. I don’t know how to get to know you without asking questions or clarifying issues. I can’t kiss without passion or make love like it’s routine. Sporadic and half-ass love, communication and intimacy doesn’t interest me.

Everything matters now. Every second matters. Every word matters. Every touch matters. Time is of the essence. The hourglass of time is turned upside down and the sands are trickling down and it won’t be too long before they are gone. I want each of my remaining minutes to be filled with passion, laughter, joy, love and purpose. I want my life to be connected. And if we(whoever “we” are) choose each other, then let’s be all in, let’s leave fear at the door and let us show each other what it means to love, protect and respect each other. Let us be on fire! If we can’t have that, then we can’t have anything. No, I can’t do “half-way” love anymore. I’d rather fly solo until my present, ready and “all in” someone arrives.

Rhonda E. Frost

Author, Why Do I Have to Think Like a Man? (HCI Books; Jan 2014)

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