10 Probable Locations For George Osborne

1. Speaking to “business leaders” and definitely not in a dinghy on the Thames playing with his puzzles
2. Weeping uncontrollably into the Magna Carta (just a massive print-out though, don’t worry)
3. Preparing the sickest burns for his appearance on the Today program tomorrow (eg “Nigel Farage is a real craaaaaap guy”)
4. Stretching his “Strong Tory Legs” further and further and further until he turns inside out and his organs are now outside his body
5. Theresa May’s wicker treehouse throwing rotten apples at passing dogs
6. Drafting his emergency budget with his emergency pen in his emergency shed (just a normal shed, obvs)
7. Inside a VR simulation of the Battle of Hastings
8. Staring at infinite reflections of himself in a hall of mirrors, completely nude and covered in blue paint and wearing a hard hat
9. Trying to sky-write his resignation above Westminster but can get this *bloody* spitfire started
10. Somewhere doing something with someone ha ha it’s all a big joke to you isn’t it but this is serious this is really serious