I have tried finding happiness. Always trying to define it, find it, lose it and define it all over again. My years of search has often left me tired, worn out and dejected. Some days it has meant more money, some nights a kiss, some moments helping a friend, some evenings a good run, some moments a good read, but its never been a state of permanency. I have struggled to attain it, hold it in my hand and live it. There isn’t any place I have left unexplored, cities, countries, homes, nooks of my subconscious, memories of my childhood, imagine dragons, friendships, love, family, buddhism, clothes, sex, food, workplaces, and even in pain. Yet, it refuses to find me. It is as if a bait, always out of reach. And even if around, unbelievably fleeting and dynamic.
So what is really happiness ?
Words haven’t reached where our emotions have. (Thanks Kopal !) It might mean all of the above things I have mentioned, and I am sure much more. So why do we struggle so much to define it for ourselves ? Its DEFINITELY not a universal answer. But I strongly believe that God/Allah/Krishna/Universe/Buddha/(Inclusive/Exclusive) has granted us this life to be happy. They have given us the deepest, and the most profound gift, that is the the “Pursuit of happiness”. Its because, only in periods of utter and absolute happiness that we feel peace and serenity. It is when we are not bound but flowing through numerous invisible bonds, when the strings of time bend around us. So why are we filling it with so much sorrow ?
“Pursuit of happiness” is a never-ending journey. It is isn’t meant to be achieved as a laurel and to be rested on. It isn’t a single juncture or a some moment of eureka. It is an ongoing process that is knitted together with strings of your heart. (too cheesy eh ?) I simply mean that its chasing who you truly are, who you really want to be. Why care about things you really don’t ? Why is it so difficult to show the world your true colors ? All you have to do is throw your heart everywhere, and push that noise that tells you to check instagram, fb/do your deeply detested office work/text to know your friends nightout plan. Just CREATE. Imagination is in your heart, ideas are in your blood, drive is in your pulse, unwavering resolve is in your neurons, then why do you hold yourself back?
STOP, BREATHE, and spill it out.
Keep telling your heart why you woke up today, why should you exist for the day ? How to be closer to myself today ? And all that randomness will start making sense.
Don’t stress ! And days you do, hug yourself like you are your favorite superhero. You are your Wonder Woman/Spiderman. You don’t question their powers, you don’t question if you will survive the alien attack or war. You accept. You give in. You trust. Complete and absolute.
You might dis this as philosophy and detached from reality. But it really isn’t. The real you isn’t known to anyone, its still in your heart, so how is your facade a reality ? That facade is like a glacier crumbling under. The real you is like Mount Fuji, untouched, serene and the only thing worth beholding. Then how can it not lead you to your “Pursuit of Happiness”?