Feeling sick to my stomach
You think I would be used to it. That I can just let everything go. I need to escape and I need to get out. I want so badly to run away and never come back. The issue is that I can’t I dream about trying but I can’t, I never could.
Here I sit looking for options and where I can go, who I can talk to, what opportunities I might have. Funny thing is that I have none. I never had any. I have no options, just to stay and sit as quietly as I can while time and depression takes me. I have no where to go. I’m suck in the same spot I’ve been trying to escape forever. I have no one to talk to, no one to confide in and no one for support. I have no opportunities; everything I’ve done to give me opportunities in life where dead ends with no where left to go making less then before I had them.
I have to be strong for my self, I have to be the only person I can rely on and I can not forget this. I do find envy in others and how they not only have thing together but also have people in there life to lean on.
I’m scared about my future and where I might be. Maybe it will be good and I’ll get my self out of this but I fear I’m sinking again. This has been a good out let to post my thoughts but I still need to hold fast and stay strong. I can do it all my self, I can be content with nothing, I don’t need support from anyone.