A Vanity Affair Preview…

“Let’s go Jayla we need to hurry to grandma’s house for your big surprise.”

“But can I just take one more picture daddy.”

“No, we’re running late, let’s go!” I raise my voice in frustration. Tears begin their descent from her innocent brown eyes.

“Sorry daddy, please don’t be mad at me” she says with a whimper.

“It’s ok baby, we are just in a rush and I don’t want to keep your grandma waiting.”

Was I justified in my yelling? Could there have been a better way to have handled that? I never second guessed myself this much until I brought this tiny human into the world. It’s not the fear of raising a child that scares me, it’s the fear of raising her the wrong way.

“Alright let’s get in the car. Let me help you buckle up”

“No, don’t touch me! Lemme do it.” she replies with a scowl and a tinge of rage in her voice.

Just like that her mood has shifted from tender and loving to combative and aggressive. My heart stings by the way she enunciates every sour syllable. It is only her and her mother that are able to change moods so quickly. It’s hard to believe that six years have passed, god how I miss her mother.

More to come on 5/15

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