Increased Screen Time: Why are Children Attracted to the Screen?
Mom: Leila, it is dinner time. Everyone is already at the table. Come quickly!
Leila: I just started playing with my friends online. You told me I could play after I finish homework.
Mom: It’s already been an hour. That’s quite enough for a day!
Leila is willing to pay any cost to play online with her friends, even if it means completing the uninteresting homework. She finds the online play so engaging that she is willing to push her dinner time and perhaps even ignore her hunger at the time. She tries to justify her actions by suggesting that since she did as she was told, she now has the liberty to do as she pleases.
It is important to know why the kids are hooked to the screen. What is it that attracts them toward the virtual world? Can we somehow improve their experience of the real world so that they are motivated to give up screen time?
Instant Gratification
The screen, be it phone, computer, tablet, or TV, makes it is possible to experience instant pleasure and instant reward. Video games and online content offer an instant solution to boredom. You can use the Internet to find the answer to any question in an instant. You can connect with any of your friend in an instant. These all sound like very good reasons for children to stay hooked to the screen. However, it may demotivate them to make a sustained effort toward studies and other passions and may result in decreased attention spans. Research suggests that pursuing music, art, sports etc. help to build patience, endurance, and perseverance in an individual. Encourage your child to take up a hobby and pursue it. This will not only provide engagement other than screen time, but also help to build lifelong skills. It is possible that the child is not open to the idea to start with. It will take consistent effort to let them try out various things to find their passion. There will be times when your child is reluctant and wants to quit; many times, the reason may be that the achievement is not immediate. This is the time when we, as parents, need to resist the temptation to say, “You are a quitter! You never finish anything.” Empathize with the child and motivate them to keep going. Remember, you cannot quit being a parent too!
Shyness and Lack of Confidence
If your child is shy and introverted, they may find social interactions very stressful. Such a child refuses to go to social gatherings or family get-togethers and would rather seek refuge in front of the screen, with its added advantage of instant gratification. It is also possible that the child is not quite shy but lacks self-confidence. Such a child will find escape in the virtual world where she is not afraid to make mistakes and be judged for her actions. If we pause to think, we will realize that the screen is providing an environment to the child where she can be herself, without seeking approval from others. Strive to provide your child a conducive environment where she can thrive. Read my post ‘Treat Your Child Like an Adult’ to know how you can positively impact your child’s self-esteem.
Peer Pressure
“What’s wrong with playing video games every day? All my friends do too!” This is one pretext given by almost all children who want to defend their screen time. Peer pressure is real, and we all have experienced it several times. It is our social need to be liked by others and to have a sense of belonging. Our kids are no different, they want to fit in and feel accepted by their friends and peers. It’s hard to talk them out if it because fitting in is the easiest way to belong to a group. I always tell my children that ‘because someone is saying something or is doing something’ is not reason enough for them to do it. Now, this is a difficult one to pull through as ‘someone’ also includes the parents and other care givers. Going by this logic, we will need to work extra hard to explain and reason our advice to our children. However, it will inspire them to think for themselves and make choices based on the pros and cons rather than hearsay. Inspire your children to take pride in their individuality. Talk to your children about the various other ways in which they can be popular among their friends. Depending on the age, you may also channelize the screen time of your child toward learning something new. The Internet is full of tutorials, how to draw and paint, how to play guitar, how to play football, how to improve your singing, you name it!
There are two other significant factors that have resulted in an increased screen time today. Both of these are beyond our control.
Social Media Algorithms
Social media websites are working hard to optimize their AI algorithms with the aim to keep us hooked to the screen. These algorithms tirelessly analyse our activities on the Internet and continuously feed us personalized content to maximize our screen time. So, as a parent, we are up against these social media algorithms that are getting better at keeping our children glued to the screen, each passing day, just the opposite of what we are trying to achieve here. I consider these social media algorithms to be the modern-day Pied Piper who, to a large extent, are responsible for worsening the screen time problem by enticing and leading our children astray.
The Pandemic of COVID-19
All of us were already struggling to keep a check on the screen time of our children and then suddenly the pandemic happened in early 2020, and everything changed for the worse. Schools moved online, and a lot of screen time became compulsory. Now, we are grappling with online school, online assignments, and online projects, which can’t be done away with, along with online entertainment and socializing. Although online is the medium to continue schools during the pandemic, it has magnified the already existing impact of screen time. We need to come to terms with the extra screen time added to our children’s lives, more than what is probably ideal.
Much like the environmental pollution around us, we need to accept that no matter how hard we and our children try, the screen has polluted our daily routines. Try to delay the taste of screen time as much as you can when your child is young. Remember, prevention is better than cure.
