Losing a child

When I lost my dearest, darling daughter last year, I knew that my life as I had known it was over. It could never be fixed or made whole again. I felt that if there was to be any more joy, happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment in my life I would need a new construct of what life could look like.

Everyone was saying well meaning things to me like “time will heal” or “the grief remains but your life gets bigger” but none of it rang true for me. I didn’t want to “get over my loss”.

Grieving for me isn’t about getting over a loss. Grieving is about feeling that loss, forever, in it’s total fullness every single day. The key to a new and different life beyond loss is in channeling the energy from the daughter I lost:

  1. To make her stay alive through my good work

2. To use that her energy, skills and talents to realize all of my and maybe even her dreams and aspirations, and

3. To live the rest of my life WITH her in a totally positive, open and loving way.