How You Are Breaking Your Own Heart Without Trying.

I know what you’re thinking. “What could a 14-going-on-15-year-old-girl-know-about-relationships?” kind of thing. And let me tell you what I know about relationships,

Absolutely nothing at all whatsoever.

That’s right, I’m talking about something I know nothing about. I may know nothing about relationships, but I do know a hell of a lot about heartbreak. Heartbreak comes in many forms, many situations and scenarios, some even worst than others. Out of all of the types of heartbreak, I’ve been through quite a bit for a girl my age. There’s the typical “I love someone that doesn’t love me back” or to get more specific, “I’m obsessing over someone that has no idea who I am.” We’ve all been there. To be more technical, there’s “He/She/They want something that I don’t want to give them and I don’t want to mess this up.” That one’s a little out of my age range, but I’ve been there before too. I could go on and on about the type of hurt that is caused by another, that’s not even the half of it. But, as teenagers/young adults, we tend to need someone to blame for our hurt. This is where the next form of heartache comes in, caused by yourself as a result of someone else.

The big and terrible, “I’m not good enough.”

When we are rejected for a reason, rational or not, this is what the majority of our thoughts is left with. When in reality, whether you believe me or not, it isn’t true at all. Your brain rationalizes “I don’t like you, it’s nothing personal, you’re just not my type.” as “They don’t like you because you are less than you need to be, do better.” It’s not on purpose, it’s just become a second nature. Where does this leave you? How would the normal, average, functioning human being react? Odds are, you’re laying in your bed alone, probably crying, probably listening to sad music and scrolling through your tumblr feed through all hours of the night. Maybe you turn to substance abuse if you’re of the older age. Or maybe you’re left alone on Thanksgiving break, sitting in your room writing about your feelings on some blog website. There’s numerous alternatives, but who’s to say you’re coping wrongly? Maybe, JUST MAYBE, you’re not doing anything wrong?

I’m not a psychologist, nor am I informed about love in any way shape or form other than what I’ve come up with in my brain. All that I’m trying to say is that your biggest enemy is yourself. All of those people that you’re worried about judging you, that’s all in your head. Sometimes we just need a reminder that it’s not a crime to not feel the same way about someone, nor is it a crime to put yourself out in the open with good hopes and intentions. In the end, none of us have ever done this before. None of us have anything to compare this to, so make your own mistakes and have fun with it. In 10 years, none of this will matter and hopefully we’d be a little more informed than we are now. We are young and we have so much to say, so much that has never been heard before so don’t shut your mouth until you’re done talking. Don’t give up until you’ve found what you want. Even then, don’t give up. Look for what you want next. I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but basically-

Girls; Don’t text him/her. Or do it if you want to. Take a bubble bath. Do your makeup for you, or don’t, you look gorgeous either way. Do what you want. Do everything for you. Don’t let them take advantage of you, you’re so much more than that. You deserve the world. Eat that cake. Sleep in an extra hour if you need it.

Boys; Don’t let them talk to you like that, you don’t need it. Tell him/her how you feel, you never know what could happen. Speak up. Cry if you need to, it’s 100% okay. Talk about your feelings, it’s not normal to keep everything inside.

Everybody; Do what you want, live for you. You are good enough, you are more than enough and I’m proud of you. You’ve made it so far and you can keep going. You are strong and you are so much more than the boy/girl that doesn’t want you. Take a risk, you’ll regret it if you don’t. Forgive, but don’t forget. Give second chances, but not thirds. Remove them from your life, don’t be afraid to tell them that they’re not right for you. Be kind. Think before you speak. Don’t waste their/your time. Realize whats necessary and what is not. You can move on, do it for you and no one else.