How To Take Care of Yourself in 5 Easy Steps

If you are anything like me, in that you are human, require food and sleep and sex, knowing how to take care of yourself isn’t perhaps the most simple thing to grasp, let alone actually do.

We know how to take care of our plants: water, dirt and sunlight.

We know how to take care of our pets: food, water and snuggles.

We sometimes don’t know how to take care of ourselves.

The world we live in demands an impossible level of activity and productivity from us. We have devices that are on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We have jobs to show up for, significant others to engage with, friends to keep up with, families to provide for and a thousand other obligations to fulfill.

Is it any wonder that at the end of the day we feel exhausted, empty and exasperated only to be faced with the daunting task of repeating it day in and day out till we die? No. It’s not.

It is truly this simple folks: You have to take care of yourself. No one else will do it for you.

What you will read below is a short primer on how to take care of You. Remember You? That awesome, quirky, human being who maybe loves to paint or knows how to fold origami or even wants to start running again?

This is by no means an exhaustive list or an end all be all of the ways, methods and practices for taking care of You.

It is, however, a starting point.

For memory’s sake, this list is called “SHALT” as in “THOU SHALT TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.”


It cannot be said enough.

When you are clogged up there is no way you can do anything. Shopping, writing, cooking, vacuuming, errands, etc.

Ain’t gonna happen.

So march yourself into the lavatory, take your phone or don’t (I would advise against it) close the door, run the tap if you need to and take care of your business. Make sure you have at least triple ply tissue. This is one area where you don’t want to skimp on quality. Trust me.

Spend at least 10 minutes a day doing this. Learn to enjoy the singular experience of appreciating the wonderful systems we humans have and how they keep us well and allow us to do what we must when we are not popping a squat

If you do this daily for 30 days, your life will change as a result.


Gotta eat.

The fleshy tube that is you requires sustenance to exist and move through the world and do all the things that you both like and don’t like.

Have a sandwich. Have a bowl of gazpacho. Have 55 donut holes, a loaf of garlic bread, a pound of dark chocolate almonds, two bottles of wine and a pizza. Have whatever.

Just eat.



I know.

No one likes to get angry or be angry or even think about being angry, but it happens. Anger is a natural emotional response to angering situations.

So, the question is, what can be done about it?

Call someone. Go for a walk. Scream into a pillow. Do Crossfit. Run for president. Watch Pornhub.

The key to this is taking an action that will bring the anger out into the daylight where it can’t hurt anyone. If it is left inside the dark recesses of the human heart, mind and soul, it will rot and fester and kill you and that is something we don’t want, OK?


Human beings evolved from small group primates and we still carry with us and in us the emotional, social and physical desire for connection with our fellows.

It is truly what makes us human — this need for connection.

Babies that aren’t held wither and die. Young people who are not socialized often develop addictions and behaviours that can hurt or kill. Adults who don’t have an active social life suffer needlessly and end up in jobs they hate or worse.

The antidote is simple: call/text/dm someone.

Ask a coworker or a neighbour or a friend you’ve fallen out of touch with to get lunch or go see a movie. They will love to hear from you and you will enjoy the result of this simple action.


Sleep is amazing.

Naps are a luxury that adults do not partake of nearly enough. The look of jealousy that comes to the face of other people when you say “I just took a great nap.” is nothing short of telling.

When you don’t get enough sleep, you can’t do anything.

Like eating and shitting, sleep is a basic, fundamental need for human survival.

Insomnia happens. If you can’t sleep make an appointment to see a doctor. It could be a sign of actual medical issues.

If you can, get good sheets and good pillows and wash your bedding at least every week.

You will thank yourself.

There you have it, a flawed and probably unimpressive list on how to begin taking care of You.