Five Contemporary Intimacy Exercises for Married Couples

6 min readAug 13, 2023

A successful and fulfilling marriage is not just about shared experiences and the passage of time; it thrives on the emotional connection and intimacy between partners. In the fast-paced modern world, where daily responsibilities and commitments can consume our time, nurturing intimacy in a marriage becomes all the more important. Intimacy exercises offer a pathway for married couples to strengthen their emotional bonds, improve communication, and reignite the flame of love.

In this article, I delve into five contemporary intimacy exercises that are designed to enhance the emotional connection between spouses. These exercises go beyond the traditional notions of romance and explore innovative ways to build trust, empathy, and mutual understanding within a marriage.

1.Emotional check-ins

Set aside regular time, like once a week, for emotional check-ins with each other. During this exercise, both partners take turns sharing their feelings, thoughts, and experiences without interruption or judgment. It creates a safe space for open communication and allows each partner to be heard and understood.

2.Appreciation and gratitude journal

Keep a joint journal where both partners write down things they appreciate and feel grateful for in the relationship and about each other. This exercise helps focus on the positive aspects of the marriage and reinforces feelings of love and gratitude.

How the appreciation and gratitude journal works:

Start the journal together: Begin by selecting a notebook or journal that you both find appealing. This journal will be a shared space where you both contribute your thoughts and reflections.
Set a regular time: Decide on a regular time, such as before bedtime or during breakfast, to sit down together and write in the journal.
Express appreciation and gratitude: Take turns writing down things you appreciate and feel grateful for in the relationship and about each other. These can be big or small gestures, actions, or qualities that make you feel loved and cherished.
Be specific and genuine: When expressing your appreciation, try to be specific and genuine in your words. Instead of a general “thank you,” explain why the gesture or quality means so much to you.
Reflect on past entries: Occasionally, take time to reflect on past entries together. This will remind you both of the love and care you have for each other, reinforcing the positive aspects of your relationship.

3.Shared activities and hobbies

Find activities or hobbies that both partners enjoy and can do together. It could be anything from cooking a meal together, taking a dance class, hiking, volunteering, or even watching a favorite TV show. Engaging in shared activities fosters bonding and creates shared experiences that strengthen the emotional connection.

4.Love letters or messages

Write love letters or send affectionate text messages to each other expressing feelings of love, admiration, and appreciation. This simple yet powerful exercise can reignite the romantic spark and remind each other of the love they share.

Below, I want to show you a good example of a small love letter.

My Hilarious Love,

You are the peanut butter to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni, and the laughter to my soul. Life with you is a never-ending comedy show, and I can’t get enough of your witty charm and silly antics.

You’ve turned the ordinary into extraordinary, and I can’t help but smile whenever you’re around. You’re my partner in crime, my laughter therapy, and my best friend rolled into one.

Thank you for making every day a joyride of laughter and love. I’m head over heels for you, my funny valentine!

Love and laughter always,

[Your Name]

5.Mindful touch and cuddle time

Set aside a few minutes each day for mindful touch and cuddling. Lie or sit close to each other, hold hands, cuddle, or embrace without distractions. This physical intimacy can enhance emotional closeness and provide a sense of comfort and security.

The key to successful intimacy exercises is consistency, genuine effort, and creating a safe and supportive environment for both partners to express themselves. These exercises can help married couples strengthen their emotional connection, deepen their understanding of each other, and nurture a loving and lasting relationship.

What are the benefits of intimacy exercises for married couples?

Contemporary intimacy exercises offer a range of benefits for married couples, helping them deepen their emotional connection, enhance communication, and foster a more fulfilling and resilient relationship. These exercises are specifically designed to suit the dynamics of modern relationships, making them accessible and effective in the fast-paced world we live in. Here are some key benefits of contemporary intimacy exercises for married couples:

Enhanced emotional intimacy. Contemporary intimacy exercises encourage couples to express their thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities openly. This level of emotional sharing creates a deeper sense of intimacy and understanding between partners, helping them feel more emotionally connected.
Improved communication skills. Many contemporary intimacy exercises focus on active listening, empathy, and effective communication techniques. By practicing these skills, couples can learn to communicate more openly, honestly, and empathetically with each other, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.
Renewed romance and passion. Exercises that involve expressions of appreciation, love letters, or shared activities can reignite the flame of romance and passion in the marriage. These gestures help couples feel more desired and loved, contributing to a more satisfying and exciting relationship.
Stress reduction and bonding. Engaging in intimacy exercises together can serve as a stress-relieving activity for couples. It provides an opportunity to step away from daily pressures and bond in a meaningful and enjoyable way.
Conflict resolution and problem-solving. Some exercises, like emotional check-ins, create a safe space for discussing issues and concerns. This promotes open dialogue, making it easier for couples to address conflicts constructively and find resolutions together.
Increased trust and security. Intimacy exercises that focus on vulnerability and emotional support help build trust and a sense of security in the relationship. Couples feel reassured that they can rely on each other during both good times and challenging moments.
Shared experiences and memories. Activities that involve shared hobbies or journaling create lasting memories and experiences. These shared moments contribute to a sense of togetherness and create a unique bond between partners.
Strengthened commitment. Participating in intimacy exercises signals a commitment to investing time and effort in the relationship. This commitment reinforces the idea that both partners are willing to nurture and grow their bond.
Increased gratitude and positivity. Exercises that focus on appreciation and gratitude cultivate a positive and appreciative attitude towards each other. Couples become more mindful of the kindness and love present in their marriage, which can lead to a more positive outlook on the relationship.
Overall relationship satisfaction. By incorporating contemporary intimacy exercises into their daily lives, couples experience higher levels of relationship satisfaction and happiness. The emotional connection and effort put into the exercises create a fulfilling and rewarding partnership.

Conclusion for you

Contemporary intimacy exercises offer numerous advantages for married couples seeking to strengthen their emotional connection and overall relationship. These exercises promote better communication, renewed passion, and increased appreciation for each other, laying the foundation for a loving and lasting marriage. By regularly practicing these exercises, couples can enjoy a more fulfilling and meaningful journey of love and togetherness.

Rico Gibson Jr. — Journalist, Dating Agencies Industry Expert