13 Lessons To Take Home From The Session On Behavioral Psychology of Teenagers

‘No adolescent ever wants to be understood, which is why they complain about being misunderstood all the time.’ Quoting this hilarious, yet completely true statement by Stephen Fry, Dr. Prasad Shetty and Dr. Save gave several insightful tips to better understand the enigma that is the “teenage” mind. Here are the 13 most important lessons that we at The Why Academy believe one should take home from the session.

What worked 10 years ago, may not work well today — Dr. Shetty established that parenting and child psychology must evolve rapidly, simply because times are changing too fast. While 30 years may have been the generation gap a few years ago, today it could be just 10. With each new generation, our way of tackling an issue must also adapt.

Adolescence has social as well as biological implications — The extreme emotional turbulence that teenagers are known to experience, is largely caused by the constant pruning and development of their brains at this crucial stage. As some unused neural pathways are lost, some are cemented to form their personality. They have newfound social awareness, which leads them to criticise society, parents and even themselves.

“Adolescence is like having only enough light to see the step directly in front of you”.

The concept of Identity vs Role Confusion must be understood — As teenagers struggle to come to terms with their emotional and mental changes and try to find their individual identity, they also face an inner struggle between “who they wish to be” and “who they are expected to be”. Allowing them to have the space and support to find that balance is key.

Peer pressure is not all bad — While peer pressure is made out to be the starting point to “bad behaviour”, the Family Survey Study conducted by the University of Michigan would say otherwise. Having open channels of trust and communication between parents and children can help them overcome the curiosity and confusion that is created by negative peer pressure.

Resistance to peer pressure is also physically possible — Contrary to popular belief, the teenage mind is well equipped to resist peer pressure and is capable of making “the right choices”. During these years, the parts of the brain that resist inclination towards risky behaviour are growing, and creating awareness through open conversation can advance this process.

“Loneliness and desire for acceptance drives students to give into negative peer pressure.”

“Stress” and “Depression” are not the sole psychological concerns — While teenagers experience a plethora of psychological stimulation and responses in their formative years, any “abnormal” behaviour is often dismissed as stress or depression. ADHD, ODD, substance abuse and Conduct Disorder are equally threatening psychological concerns, but are simply more difficult to identify.

Developmental and Learning Disorders go beyond just poor grades — It is a misconception that learning disabilities are responsible for lower IQs or academic weakness. These disorders afflict students with average intelligence and even have adverse impact on their social skills, concentration and behaviour.

Personalities often get established in the teenage years itself — The frontal lobe of the brain undergoes maximum changes during adolescence. This part is responsible for our emotions, expression, judgement and sexual behaviour, and hence, our identity. Communication is essential to ensure that they are able to navigate through these changes smoothly.

“There are two great days in a person’s life — the day we are born and the day we discover why”.

There isn’t “one right parenting technique” — Parenting styles can be authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or uninvolved, but since every child and every situation is different, there is no single thumb rule for all. At different times, the parent must know which role to take on, to give the child the kind of parenting he needs in that moment.

Talking is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship — What begins with some small talk, gradually evolves into a deeper conversation that eventually establishes trust, love and understanding. To make this work, parents must explore the things that matter to their children, and allow their likes and dislikes to be of interest to them.

A few words of appreciation can go a long way — Whether it is a simple compliment about their dress, hairstyle or shoes, or an acknowledgement of their hard work and good results, a little appreciation goes a long way in showing gratitude for the child’s attempts at good behaviour.

Reward and punishment must be handled with care — While praise and rewards for a job well done are important, it is also necessary to not indulge in bribery. Allowing teenagers to believe that they must receive something in return for “good behaviour” can be dangerous. Keeping communication open, even when angry or frustrated is key.

There is a simple 6- step process for effective studying — Preparation, avoiding procrastination, time management, reading and taking notes, test taking and managing stress are the basic elements of an effective study regime. Using innovative methods of study like gamified and experiential learning, practice tests and memory training, like at The Why Academy, gives students an edge above the rest.