Trying To Get Into Life

Well as they say I’m much of creative, But what I think now I’m not. All i’m trying to do is get rid of everything I did wrong in the past, Hitting 29 this October, So my resolution for this occasion is to change my life, atleast develop some new things on my life that I always wanted to achieve.

I’m a chain smoker, I don’t have any sort of routine, I don’t eat at time, I don’t do anything, it all happened due to my disease Panic Disorder, Half of my life gone with it.

Sorry for my English if you're reading, actually I’m from Bangladesh, and I’m tbh not good at writing…In fact this is my very first publication of my thoughts, like whats going on with me which I used to tell myself mentally. Found Medium…well trying to express myself, not for the audience, for me…I want to know me better and someone said, If you write down your thoughts, Things get better day by day and you start to observe more.

I’m typing too fast, as electricity is a thing to dream here…Any moment my full article can go down….Is it saving auto? ohh yea I guess it is…I’m on computer now…Not at my phone, anyway…Trying to quit smoking that took away my life, and gave me some medicine to take every 4 hours and more pain.

I know life gonna be hard and harder day by day, As i’m feeling now…5 days gone…Lowered cigs from 25 to around 10 a day…Choose to vape to pass time and cravings, but things are not so realistic, All the time i’m suffering…it’s more like my cat died and found a new cat but can’t forget my old cat…hes still there on my memory…always.

To pass this tough time a bit easily choose 5 types of vaporizers. One thats my fav my e cig that looks completely like a real cig…Modded that to increase vape…well yea my thoughts are all of vaping, smoking etc now a days…and I’m literally paranoid bout my devices cause the e cigs don’t last for long, What if it gets out of market…Then I don’t think I can survive…

Now having a bit headache…Just smoked one, still cravings! I’ll continue my thoughts on another, Well Irfan you have to live, you have to…

My theory is simple, Lower the cig amount per day, then suddenly Cold Turkey it and shift to complete vaping high, then lower vape nic from 16 to 0 and the end, yee got my life back…well sounds a working formula but its not that easy as it sounds.

Now thinking of a cup of tea then idk maybe vaping again or something on youtube, Adrien Gee is cool man…Passing whole day wid that funny guy…anyway may God bless everyone, Peace! :)