The slow demise of the art of chivalry

We live in a world of technology, an there's no way around it. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and whatever other forms of social media, have forced us to hide behind the keys of our hi-tech gadgets. The age of dating is dead, but the “lets hook up” remains alive and well. Have we as humans become desensitized? The word Gentleman is an endangered species.

What ever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies we’re forced to watched because we want to know what a real man acts like? Okay, so I want John Cusack holding a boom box outside my window. I also want to ride off on a lawn mower with Patrick Dempsey. I fantasize about Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist in the air because he knows he got me! Yes, if only our lives could be like an 80's movie. Preferably one with a really spectacular musical number for no reason. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John got way with it in Grease. But, no John Hughes did not direct my life, and we’re faced with the reality that men and women don’t live by scripts.

I had a boyfriend once who opened every single door for me as if my hands were incapable of doing so myself. Opened the passenger side door, as well as the driver side for me. I even had passerby’s who were mostly elders, tell me I was a ‘lucky gal to have a real gentleman’. Now it wasn't until later I asked myself: Why were these people watching us? And, is being a Gentleman a dying tradition? So I asked him once why he felt he had to do such things. He responded with a long, very touching story that he was raised to know how to be a gentleman. Although, I also went on a few dates where the candidate did none of those things and guess what, I lived!

The more time goes on, we see less chivalrous acts out of pure kindness. Don’t get me wrong. I am no judge. No one’s perfect and not every man can be 100% consistent in the chivalry department and no one is blaming them! Well at least I’m not.

Have you ever heard the saying “You Get what you Allow”?

So, who’s to blame when a man is not a perfect gentleman? Do we blame it on the way he was raised? Do we blame social media for ruining the old fashioned way of being polite? Do we blame him? Or is it the woman/male on the receiving end of the relationship that is to blame?

Let’s be honest, it’s what she’s allowing right? Open communication about what you deem important is key. Your values, the things you want, the amount of respect you see fit. These are things that need to be expressed from the get go! No one can read minds people. Whether it’s received or not is up to the individual.

-RLS

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