When I look back at the last year, the most memorable times where I’ve felt strong feelings … were at the peak of a hypo-manic episode. Every color was bright, every person I met on the street was a joy for me to communicate with, every idea I’ve had seemed golden … life was good.

Problem it, it’s not sustainable for me, which which why I’m trying to regulate and I find myself now in a period with less intensified … everything, including emotions. These days, I don’t feel strongly about anything. It’s not emotional numbness per say (I’ve had that, that hurts), it’s just … “ordineriness”. Life is just … life.

So right now, I’m sort of at a waiting stage. Waiting for something to consistently feel awesome or inspiring.