Badnaam Bachelors

If you live in India and have had the pleasure to stay outside your hometown to fulfill your dreams or to study or work in a MNC or a local company, you must be acquainted with the way people look down upon bachelors. We are taught to always look upwards but inadvertently it’s easier for people to look down upon others. This situation though is becoming more prevalent as number of people migrating to other states have increased over time thanks to some inefficient, corrupt, laid-back, money and energy sucking state governments which continuously strive not to take any sort of activities which might generate quality employment opportunities in their state.

But let’s focus on bachelors now. There is this perception among people that bachelors are some sort of criminals who drinks, smokes, take drugs and create all sorts of problems and so they shouldn’t be allowed to stay in societies where decent, morally incorruptible, responsible tax paying citizens reside. As such many societies bear hoardings with slogans like

Dogs and Bachelors not allowed here.”

Well I sort of exaggerated that, it’s more like bachelors not allowed but you get the feeling with which it’s written, though probably more places allow dogs these days. You can’t disagree with all their allegations though, bachelors do smoke, drink, take drugs and do stuff which isn’t socially acceptable but these same things or worse than those your married neighbors might also be doing since they too aren’t fundamentally different than bachelors (both of them belong to genus Homo), the problem then shouldn’t be with bachelors but with people who create nuisance who might or might not consume above substances. An important quality to have in life is able to sympathize with others as such think how would you feel if you weren’t allowed to stay at an apartment you like just because you aren’t into a social contract with a person (that’s how marriage is defined at times).

An instance of stupidity I am personally aware is where few society members barged into my friend’s apartment at midnight demanding to evacuate the apartment immediately since society’s association have framed this rule overnight that bachelors shouldn’t stay in their society therefore it’s illegal on their part to continue staying there. When my friends complained and asked what’s the problem, they said their association have received complaints against them. As ludicrous as it may sound one of their neighbor was upset because my friend didn’t have curtains put in one of his window which overlooked the neighbor’s window so theoretically and practically my friends can see through his window into their home! So my friend did put curtains as directed but they are still being harassed by society members because they are badmaash bachelors who pay their rents, don’t meddle in other affairs and also don’t disturb their neighbors. Mind these so called society members are educated, probably middle or higher middle class. They have taken up responsibility of keeping their society bachelor free because they were never bachelors in their life, they were just born into this fair world, were married immediately to their love of life, had kids and believes their kids too would follow this amusing cycle.

During one of my apartment hunting process, I came across this society which had good amenities, nice location and allowed bachelors like me to stay, I thought finally a decent society to stay, and just then the broker remarked — Bachelors aren’t allowed to use the club facilities in this society, mark that. These are semi liberal societies which will allow you stay but not use their club facilities like swimming pool etc. These groups in my opinion are crazier than those who don’t allow bachelors to stay in their society. The less crazier group believes bachelors aren’t good people so they don’t allow them to stay, fine, but what really do other group think when they allow them to stay but forbids other facilities?

I believe this problem is part of a bigger psychological problem where people stereotype a diaspora. Similar things happen with people from Bihar in many parts of the country, with people from North India, North East India etc. This might and probably will lead to a situation where oppressed will start doing nasty things and then whomever you blame it on, it will lead to collateral damage.

I hope the government will some day take suo moto action over this, bring achhe din for badnaam bachelors and send a strong message to society that people might be married but they all aren’t necessarily matured, that those are two different things just like bachelors and badnaam are. After we achieve that I wish there will come a day when people will themselves realize how stupid they were to discriminate on basis of marital status which might one day may not even exist as a concept (highly doubtful though).