On being Unapologetic
What Else Can I do?
I’m referring to the song from the movie Encanto. If you don’t know the story, there are spoilers ahead. The story is of the family ‘Madrigal’ who have been blessed by Magic so that everyone born in the the family has some specific magical power. Well, almost everyone …
The protagonist of the story, Mirabel also the one ungifted kid in this family has an interaction with her sister, Isabel whose magical gift is to be perfect in every way. I mean she looks beautiful, has a lovely voice and literally sprouts lovely flowers wherever she goes. Isabel discovers in the course of this interaction that she can be ‘more than perfect’. She sprouts thorns for the first time in her life and she’s EXCITED!
There’s a moment in there when Mirabel sings
You just seem like your life’s been a dream from the moment you opened your eyes.
Isabel responds by, well, ignoring this observation, almost just talking to herself
How far do these roots grow.. ?
I find this moment intriguing. Isabel either is really oblivious to Mirabel even in this moment of vulnerability OR Isabel understands everything — her own magnificence, the effect she has on others as well as her own limitations. She doesn’t need her own struggles to be validated by someone else, at least not by Mirabel. She’s waay more interested in her own new found abilities, her own magic and juice. I believe it’s the latter.
Typically, characters that are portrayed as ‘perfect’ in movies are also shown to be oblivious to the world around them and their character arcs invariably come to a point where they have a realization about how they impact the world around them and they sort of have a change of heart and Most Importantly, they feel sorry for having been perfect in this way. They feel responsible for the way others feel about themselves and feel the need to apologize. Also, culture in general encourages people to be small and blend in and feel a little guilty for being different in any way. So, feeling sorry about the way we are comes very naturally to all of us.
Mirabel’s confessions about her own projections and insecurities growing up with a perfect sibling could have been grounds for Isabel to feel apologetic about herself and the way Mirabel feels. But NOPE! She’s not apologetic. She knows what she’s capable of. She knows her power and wields it like a master. She doesn’t hammer the world with it either. And as for Mirabel’s insecurities.. well that’s literally Mirabel’s problem. Just to be clear, I’m not being caustic/sarcastic. I really do think that Mirabel’s insecurities are Mirabel’s to solve. Just like Isabel’s are her own to take care of. I can feel that most people get a bit uncomfortable around this point. I used to too. Like somehow, they’re not helping each other and being uncaring about each other by having this attitude. This is an important point to flesh out and disset and I would love to do it in a future post. For the moment, I’d just like to refer you to this source called Karpman’s drama triangle. I read this about a year ago and it literally changed my life and how I view responsibility in relationships.
Isabel’s also frustrated by her own limitations (just like everyone else) and is eager to learn more.
I wanna feel the shiver of something new. I’m so sick of pretty. I want something new.
The things she does are beautiful and perfect. But that’s not what she is after. She’s after what excites her and brings fire and light to her life. And somehow that ends up being beautiful (though not always, as she’s learning). I love that.
