Closing cycles: letting something die in order for something better to be born. Sounds easy right?
I am being “transplanted to a bigger pot”, that is exactly how He said it. I am feeling many different things that I don’t know how to describe. One part on me is suffering to death but another part of me is more confident than ever. I just feel so safe. I can´t believe I am going to say this but I think I am starting to enjoy this so much. This adrenaline, the goose bumps and the butterflies that I once used to hate.
I don´t want you to think I suddenly became brave and I don’t care about anything, because it is just not true. I am still the same scared little girl inside, but now everything has changed because something in me knows exactly who is with me and for me. He has showed me his greatness and I can´t help but to follow him wherever He says. It’s been already almost two years since I decided to stop playing the comfort zone (which at the end is not comfortable at all) and decided to step into the light. No more lies. Not more trying to manipulate God’s will to fit my perfect little plan which just seemed so nice in my little head but surrendering to him and letting him take the reins of my life for real.
First time in my life when I sayd from my heart “Your will and not mine, show me the way and I will follow”. Not kidding it changed everything. Be careful with what you tell him because He knows when you are talking him from you heart and He is putting attention . He can listen to our hearts better than ourselves. He will answer you. He is only waiting for you to take it for real. Pretending is not believing. Don’t be afraid, I pretended for a long while, I know how it feels. I was afraid of losing myself not knowing I was already a lost cause. My life was build on top of hyphothtesis which could have never be proven right because they were so wrong. Living in denial and pretending I had the control over my life.
But now everything has changed, every step I go I see him. It is like walking in a tunnel of light through the darkness. Being chased by his love and mercies every day. Having peace in the middle of the storm. A kind of peace that I had never felt before, which I know doesn’t come from me. A smile in my face that is hard to hide.I could talk about it all day long even though I have no words to express this inexpressible joy that overflows my heart.
Everything is part of the process. I know understand He is the one at work and I am not. I have to admit that writing here is one of the things that is included in this “change of pot”. Feels weird, new, etc, etc, etc. This is just the beginning. A journey of a lifetime lived one day at a time, one moment at a time, one story at a time.
Because He is faithful and his promises are forever I invite you to be a witness of his work of art. Look around and see. He is at work now. He is alive. Yes, more alive than you and me together. If you don´t believe me just look at me. Who would have even though that I, Rita Sanz-Agero, who would have payed for someone to write her school essays, would be here today writing to you?
OK enough for today. Love you.