Waiting without seeing.
“while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18
I told you I would write about my real struggles right? I am not backing up. I want you to have what I have, I want you to see what I see, I want you to hear what I am hearing. Things that are far more beautiful and amazing of what could ever be described.
I need you to know that I am not just rejoicing because of the blessing He has given me. Better said, I don´t want to ever rejoice on the things He gives. I want to always rejoice in the Giver who is forever good, because created things cannot be compared with the Creator. He who gives life to the dead, who transforms the desert into fertile land, who opens the eyes of the blind and transforms the darkness into light.
I once was blind and for sure I am still very blind. I know that what I have seen is just a glimpse of his Kingdom and cannot even start to imagine what is to come. There is so much more than what our human eyes can see.
Let´s be clear, to the world it sounds as if we are getting crazy, if you know what I mean. You know what the funny part is? He knows it. He knew since the beginning that for us to be able to enter his Kingdom we would have to become as children again, humble ourselves before others and admit we cannot and will not be able to explain what a wonderful God we have.
The world tells us to stop the “craziness” and go with the flow, but it is not just the world telling me to stop hearing His voice. The flesh in me is shouting in my ear, begging me to go back to the comfort zone. To go back to admiring the painting as if was all that exists. To stop “loosing time” and go back to “work”.
You know what I have learned. Time tells me of the faithfulness of God. Waiting on him seems hard, seems desperate and nonsense. It brings out all the emotions that I would not choose to feel. This powerlessness over what is to come, encountering “miss uncertainty” face to face. But how am I suppose to know what is best for me? how am I supposed to hear God’s voice if all I can think about is myself and my plans? He needs me to stop and listen. He needs me to be in that vulnerable place where I will look up at him for answers. He is not worried about what is going to happen, He is worried about me and about you. He is worried about my heart and yours. He knows exactly what draws us to go back to living without him. Praise be to him who never abandones what He starts.
Just think about it for a moment, having a Shepherd who gave his life (literally) for us to be able to rejoice with him forever. He bought for us the freedom we could have never bought for ourselves. Something much greater than this life on earth, something that won´t perish. Something that will last forever. A gift that cannot be compared to anything else in this life.
I was praying today and I asked myself: if I would truly believe that the God of Abraham, the God of Israel, the Creator of all things is listening, would I say that? Would I be desperate to know what is to come or would I humbly say “your will be done” and wait with expectation to see his glorious work with a grateful heart? would I even be thinking about me or would I just praise him with a surrendered heart knowing every breath I take is a gift from him and realizing that the best is jet to come?
I know his times are perfect and because of this I won´t be afraid. Today I choose to focus on him, the True Vine. I am nothing more and nothing less than a branch. I want to abide in Him, accept his ways for me and learn to love the dreams He has dreamed for me. If I am just a branch, why would I worry about the fruits? can a branch build a gannt chart to schedule the “popping” of the fruits? can the branch get the glory for something that is just the consequence of the life the vine is providing?
Let the name of Jesus be glorified every step of the way. Him who was, and is and is to come.