“NO - This is NOT acceptable!”
Last week, what should have been a simple errand, sparked a conversation that unearthed the roots of one of the most dangerous pandemics in the world today — apathy.
My mom needed to go to the bank, and since it was after 4 pm, we couldn’t go to her regular branch. As I got the walker out of the back seat, I looked down the street and realized this brand new Dollar Bank had no handicapped button to open the door. Despite the pain in my knee, I went with her so she didn’t struggle.
This particular branch is located in East Liberty, a neighborhood in Pittsburgh that is home to many older and disabled people, who are on canes, walkers and scooters. Thinking about how difficult it must be for them to get into the bank if they didn’t have someone to help them got my Irish up, so I asked for the manager.
“Help me to understand why there is no handicapped button to open the door,” I said. Without the faintest glimmer of humanity, she looked at me and said,
“The City of Pittsburgh does not require us to have one.”
She didn’t say, “I’m sorry there is none, but if you knock, the security guard will be happy to help you.” Or, “I’m sure that must be frustrating. I’ll give you the number of someone you can talk to about that.” It was blatant I-don’t-give-a-shit-itis and it shifted something in me.
I shared the story the next day over lunch with friends and joked that with the way the world is, I am two steps away from becoming my grandmother — who spent spent every day of her golden years writing letters to people about things that were unacceptable.
As we discussed the Dollar Bank issue, other things surfaced. Situations that aren’t acceptable, but that none of us had done anything about. Like how the container of Tropicana orange juice now holds 59 ounces instead of 64. Or the ice cream carton that silently dwindled from a half-gallon. Or the can of coffee that shrunk from two pounds to barely over one. All of these things happened with no notice and all still cost the same, or often more.
We kept talking and the list kept growing:
The frustration of talking to customer service reps who we can’t understand, despite them claiming their names are “Bob” or “Janet.”
The need to constantly follow up with a doctor’s office, an insurance company, or a mortgage lender, because the person who promised to fix your problem never did.
Being forced to double check that credits were actually issued or repairs made properly and then having to fight to get it done.
We droned on: Self-checkout; bagging our own groceries; busing our own tables at Panera. The potholes in Pittsburgh. Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus, the potholes!
No one has said, “This is not acceptable!” We’ve swallowed the changes (or lack of changes in the case of the potholes) forced down our throats with nary a peep. Sure, maybe we’ve bitched to friends, but what has anyone actually DONE? Not much.
Here’s my theory for why this exists:
- There are too many changes inflicted on us by companies who want to increase their profits in ways that are deceitful and frustrating, and it’s overwhelming. It’s seems easier just to “take it.”
- We have created “balls to the wall” lives for ourselves that leave no time for activism.
- What little time is left after work and taking care of a house/apartment/children/pets/an aging parent/ourselves is spent having fun as a way to prove the theory that if the fun:bullshit ratio is high enough, the bullshit won’t affect us.
- We feel like our voices aren’t heard when we do speak up — because frustrating, deceitful bullshit still keeps happening on a regular basis.
- Most of us would rather hide behind social media and randomly complain, which mitigates the steam from the pressure cooker in which we reside just enough, so that we don’t pop a cork and end up in jail.
My solution:
Pick ONE thing. ONE thing that is not acceptable. And do whatever you can, whenever you can, to change it.
Yes, there are those who, because of the never-ending media/White House Administration dodge ball game, have focused their energy on the “resistance.” That’s all well and good, and maybe it is having an impact. Sending letters to Congressman has proven to be helpful around some issues, but we’re all still dealing with the everyday bullshit that frustrates us, eats our money and time, and provides very little return on our investment of energy.
I prefer the think global/act local train of thought. Maybe if we each chose only one thing — the most frustrating thing — and found a way to be heard, to say, “No! This is not acceptable,” a groundswell of change could gain momentum.
Narrowing the focus to one thing is how anything important has ever been achieved in this world — from Martin Luther King and Marie Curie to Florence Nightingale and Lech Walesa — the best results come from picking one thing. No, I’m not suggesting that the silent reduction of orange juice is comparable to civil rights or the founding of modern nursing, but not all of us are cut out to be that level of hero.
We are, however, capable of being heroes in our own lives by refusing to settle — by halting our ever-expanding tolerance for the aggravation of covert bullshit whose message is: You’re probably too dumb to notice, but even if you aren’t we know you don’t have it in you to change it.
Prove you’re not too dumb. Prove you do have it in you. Pick one thing. I’m choosing the handicap button at the Dollar Bank in East Liberty. What’s your one thing?
