t’s uncrossed and i’s undotted
Ugh, I suck.
Haha, just kidding. Though I am quite excellent at selling myself short, I actually don’t suck and there’s a reason I’ve chosen to be self-deprecating right out of the gate.
A lot of us are afraid of being bad at things, so we choose not to do them. People come up to me all the time, remarking on how cool it is that I do theatre.
“It’s something I could never see myself doing!” is something I’ve heard too many times to count on one hand.
“I wish I would have done theatre in high school!” is another alternative statement.
Isn’t it funny how, after high school, we think we can’t really do anything else? Like, that was the end of our period of self-growth and suddenly everyone’s decided that there’s no reason to go out of their comfort zone anymore? I mean, the last time I checked, no one had passed any laws limiting forms of cultural expression to those who picked up a hobby in high school.
Personally, I’ve always wanted to play the guitar. I took lessons with my brother for a brief moment in high school and was fairly decent at it. After the first few lessons, though, my brother excelled at it, but I couldn’t keep up. I took this as a kind of sign that I simply sucked at guitar. I abandoned the instrument and my brother has since continued pursuing something he’s passionate about, still strumming strings to this day.
Now, I suddenly want to pick up the guitar again. I’d like to take a stab at plucking some chords and maybe writing a song or two. What’s holding me back now?
The fear that I suck. The fear that anything I attempted to produce musically would just be absolute trash actually disheartens me. What’s the point of wasting my time if I’m just going to be bad at it?
This brings me to my point, which is DON’T NOT DO THINGS JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE BAD AT THEM.
In reality, we all kinda suck in the beginning, unless we’re child prodigies or demigods. When you write your first poem, paint your first piece of art, play your first chords, or act in your first play, chances are it’s gonna be bad.
Nothing truly great comes out of the first stab at something. And even if it seems truly great and award-winning, there are still things to be worked on. Fear prevents you from making mistakes and thereby inhibits learning.
So, yeah, we all kinda suck. The difference between what makes some of us more successful than others is the decision to not wallow in it.
The worst thing you can do for yourself is deny yourself the capacity to learn and grow. Defining yourself through failure, or even success, alone is the most crippling of mindsets.
Yes, it may be hard to believe, but not putting forth an effort because you think you’re too good for it can also be an enemy to your own growth and creativity. You’re not a demigod, so there’s no reason to think you have nothing to learn.
Projects are the best medicine, I think. New endeavors and forays into uncharted territories are pretty great. If you ask me, cartography metaphors are pretty cool and I don’t think any of us have reached the end of the world just yet.
And on that note, I suppose I should invest in a guitar and maybe call my brother up for a lesson or two.