How to get over your ex & step confidently into your new life.

Dry those tears love. Breakups suck. It’s the end of a future you had envisioned with someone. You will need time to grieve that loss. I always tell my clients that a breakup/divorce is like a death and it is normal to go through the grieving process. As someone who was completely devastated by my own divorce, I want to help you get through this time so you can feel better sooner than later.

Below are 5 sure fire tips that will have you feeling better and ready to enter this new chapter in your life before you know it.

Just remember: You got this! You can do this! You are strong!

5 Ways to Get Over Your Ex:

1. Rip the bandaid.

Aka cut off contact with your ex. Defriend them, delete or hide those pics, and even block the number of your ex. Do whatever you need to do so you aren’t constantly stalking his IG page or texting him. One comment I often get from clients is blocking someone is mean. How your ex feels and how they perceive you is not your concern. What is your concern is putting yourself and your healing first. Continuing to communicate with your ex is keeping you stuck & delaying the healing process.

A note for moms-With kids cutting off communication entirely isn’t possible. However, what you can do is limit communication with your ex to be strictly about the kids.

2. Don’t beat yourself up.

Go easy on yourself! Healing takes time. When we are no longer in the relationship it is very common to be hard on ourselves for missing red flags or tolerating something that was clearly unhealthy. You might be saying things to yourself like: Why did I stay with him for so long? Why didn’t I see this coming? How did I miss (or ignore) the red flags? Choose to see this as a time of reflection and growth. Journaling a great way to process these thoughts. Here is a journal to get your started from Amazon if you don’t have one already. None of us are perfect and we have all done things in the name of love that ended up hurting us. The most important thing is to take the lessons and keep moving forward.

3. Feel Your Feelings.

Don’t hide your feelings or push them down. Believe me when I tell you those feelings will come out. If you don’t give yourself the time and space to allow them to come up then they will ultimately come out in some other way that you may later regret. For example, you may end up yelling or losing your temper on your kids or friends for a minor annoyance and something that normally wouldn’t bother you. Remember, you have to feel it to heal it. Cry. Get angry. Feel disappointed. Also, do not make yourself wrong for feeling however you do. Emotions are part of the human experience. Think of your feelings as an internal guidance system.

4. Spend time being single.

I see waayyy too many people rushing off and dating again or jumping in to another relationship. Right now it doesn’t feel good being alone. You have been used to your ex being there with you, so there is a big void. However, being alone is the BEST thing you can do for yourself. Before getting into another relationship you want to get to know yourself intimately. Fall in love with yourself. Give yourself the love you desire first. Discover WHO you are without the influence of someone else. Reflect on what you learned from your last relationship and what you will do differently in the next one. I recommend at least 6 months of time spending with yourself focusing solely on you and not worrying about a relationship with a new person.

5. Do things you love.

Pick up an old hobby or pursue a new one. What have you always wanted to do? Go do it now! You can go after that passion project of yours that you have been meaning to, but putting off. Not sure where to start? Grab your journal or some blank paper and write out a list of things you used to love doing & passions you have wanted to do but haven’t yet. Here is a really empowering one to get your started from Amazon.

Final Thoughts

Finally, even though life is painful right now things WILL get better. I am saying this not only as a life coach, but as someone who has been in your shoes before. While these tips WILL work they are not necessarily easy to do-specifically the first one. But, I believe in you and I know that underneath the sadness is a beautiful gorgeous woman that wants to rise from the ashes stronger and more confident than she ever thought was possible.

You are worthy of the love, life, and happiness you desire. The door closing on your last relationship is the perfect opportunity to reflect about WHO you are and HOW you want your life to look moving forward.

Pick one of these tips and implement today! Let me know in the comments below which tip you will implement first.

Xoxo, Christina

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