Untapped Potential

For most people, even though they aren’t doing what they love, are able to cope with the sometimes droll and systematic patterns of the working life. Fewer are actually making a living at a profession they both choose and enjoy. I am currently unable to cope with those droll and systematic patterns of the working life, but have no recourse other than pursuing a job that can at least minimally allow me to feel a modicum of self-worth.

I’m tired. I have had so many jobs, but have never found a job that refutes my own opinion that my professional career has been an absolute failure. I don’t want to sound conceited, but I know I am extremely talented and brilliant. How I haven’t been able to harness that brilliance is a mystery to me, but I know that it’s my fault. I just don’t know how to fix it.

Every day, I apply for jobs waiting for someone to realize how special I can be. It’s hard for me to fathom how people getting paid to evaluate possible job candidates haven’t figured out that I can be a game-changer for a company. That might seem like arrogance, but I know it’s the truth.

Now, I won’t sit here and claim that I haven’t made mistakes (I have made so many), but I always thought that an employer would see me for what I am. What do I see? I see a smart, loyal, creative, moody, sarcastic, fun, objective, and dedicated worker that adds tangible value to whatever job I might be working at the time. I tend to challenge the status quo, sometimes when it isn’t in my personal best interest to do so. I fight for what I think is fair and just, even it doesn’t always help me individually. I speak my mind, even if it isn’t considered my place. And sometimes, I mail it in when I feel completely defeated and helpless.

I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I have made choices and have no problem living with those choices. I own them. I want to bring awareness that not everyone fits neatly into a little box as it pertains to what a person should or should not accept from their career. I applaud those that are satisfied with their work, and marvel at those that have done it their own way.

I’m sure that some will read this, and take a little pleasure in my despair, given the amount of hubris I have displayed throughout the post. And that’s fair. Maybe I deserve the discomfort.

However, I will continue to search for work that inspires me. I want my work to compel me to bring my brilliance to the forefront. I need to tap the potential that only I can see…..for now.