Overcoming Analysis Paralysis, One Decision at a Time
Every January, I sit down to reflect back on the previous year. I look at the goals I had written and I begin to check off on the ones I accomplished and I add the ones that still motivate me to my new list. Last year, I consciously worked to accomplish 75% of the goals I had set for myself. Of the remaining 25%, some no longer interest me and some feel still too difficult for whatever reason to achieve. I have done this for the past 4 years. I never ever make “resolutions”. I don’t believe they work in that way and I prefer to set goals instead. I find that having a list and doing the physical act of writing them down helps me to stay accountable, motivated, and intentional.
One of my goals this year is to write and publish something on Medium at least once a month. I’ve had trouble deciding what to write for this first month. Actually, I have trouble deciding on most things. I am someone who experiences “analysis paralysis”. Meaning I over think and over analyze decisions so much that I cannot do anything, sometimes things as little as: should I eat out or cook tonight, will have me picking up chicken nuggets at 10pm. Most certainly, huge decisions feel impossible at times. I need security, stability, and clarity before I can make a move and sometimes we just don’t have these. I spend a lot of time making lists, thinking of possible outcomes, all the barriers, and fear starts to overtake the decision. Sometimes, I am stuck for MONTHS before I make a move. And then it’s as if I just wake up one day and I know what to do. And once I know something I can’t unknow it. Even when I have NO IDEA where that move will take me, I’m ready to move. This week I finally did something that my knowing has been wanting me to listen to for years. I decided to cut down my hours as a psychotherapist.
This was a hard decision for many reasons, but most importantly because I love my work. I find it rewarding and feel that it has given me value. But it can be DRAINING emotionally. I have felt for the past year that I have not been able to show up for myself with as much energy in my personal life. I am going to cut down my hours so that I can show up for myself and focus on becoming the person and partner I want to be. I know that this will also make my work better. I will be more energized and present with clients when I can feel energized in my personal life. I have no idea what will come next for me and I think that is so exciting, albeit SCARY! I used journaling, deep imagining meditations, and the mantra of “if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no” that finally helped me find clarity on this matter.
I started making a list (duh) of hell yes’s and hell no’s. I got decisive on tiny decisions with little risk to practice using my decision making muscle. And I sat deep in meditation to get as clear as I could in the present moment. I’m not saying my analysis paralysis has been cured. I am sure I will get stuck again because it is my pattern. But I also know that I can get unstuck when I do the work. So here it is, my first month’s article down. One step closer to achieving my 2020 goals. I hope you follow along this journey and that you find clarity in your own life wherever you need it.
