Golden Parachute for WIMP Buffs
I have the gift of a Golden Parachute for particle dark matter buffs.
The critical idea is (drumroll please): The Anthropic Principle!
You see in virtually every universe of the multiverse there is copious and easily detectable particle dark matter that can be detected with an empty soup can and some trivial electronics.
In our universe, however, just this one universe out of nearly 10⁵⁰⁰ universes, nature decided to insure that humans would evolve on Earth, and used all the particle dark matter in our Galaxy to kill off the dinosaurs that were holding up nature’s plan. (See the prodigiously gifted L. Randall’s brilliant theory for details)
So, you see, the multiverse is teeming with particle dark matter, but there is none to be found in our Galaxy. Every No-Show for particle dark matter over the last 45 years has actually provided dramatic proof of this theory. Over and over and over and….
Indeed! Robust! Untestable and unscientific, but oh so compelling!
Take it to the bank campers. No charge.