Love… As Interpreted by Me. ❤
Many describe, or rather, try to describe, this four-letter word with the simplicity of one sentence. But as I have realized within the last seven- nearly eight- months, that is nearly impossible.
Let us go back three years to age fifteen. This was the age in which I thought I was “in love” with the only boy to see my bare chest thus far and tell me I was pretty. Then, love felt like a wave of arousal all over my body- a bit graphic, but if we are being honest here, that was the exact sensation. I can remember the excitement and fear I felt when I decided that I wanted to sleep with this boy and forever lose my “virtue”, an event that never occurred due to the cold, silver band of religious paraphernalia around my left, ring finger. I will eternally thank lover boy for saving me the horrendous guilt that would follow me for the rest of my life. As the years went by and two relationships later, I declared this “love-affair” as complete and utter lust. Quite honestly, that is all it will ever be, a lustful, teenage memory.
The next hoax of love was by far more exhilarating than the first considering there was no physical romance involved other than a public make-out session at midnight in the middle of a racetrack every weekend, but a so-called emotional connection that was “forever bonded.” During the course of one month, I was already head over heels for this boy, mainly because he had lied to me about having terminal cancer and that his expiration date would only leave him with about six to eight months to experience everything under the moon and back. At sixteen years old, I saw this as an opportunity to one- make the rest of his life a blast and two- love as hard as I possibly could; and that is exactly what I did. Daily texts were sent the length of a Mark Twain novel describing to him the passion and love I felt for him. Just a single thought of losing him made my heart welt. The news of the “cancer” was the most devastating thing I had heard up to that point. Later in the relationship, I learned that a lot- almost all of the information relayed to me within a matter of four months, was false. It was also made aware to me that he had been seeing several other women besides me and still had the audacity to call me every morning and night just to tell me “I was his one and only” and “he loved me so much.” Ending that relationship took so much out of me, it threw me into deep depression and a heartache that is still not healed. After a year of deliberation, grief, and lots and lots of cliche “watching sweet romantic movies-eating ice cream-and sobbing,” I deemed this liaison, as obsession.
How about I pick up the mood, eh? As I said before, I did not truly figure that love could not be so easily described until this hypothesis was proven true by the best man I have ever met. A year ago, my current boyfriend walked, or rather typed his way into my life. To say I was swept off my feet like a Disney princess, is an understatement. We spoke frequently through the “interwebs” (i.e.: instagram, texting, phone calls, facetime…) for nearly four months until we actually met in person.
Yes, we met on a social media network. Perhaps, “catfish come true” or a twist of fate?
As of right now, I can easily count on one hand how many times I have physically spent with Jose, but that was clearly enough for my to fall completely in love with him. Two months after we initially met, he deployed to Afghanistan leaving us to speak only over the “interweb”, ironically enough, how we had begun. This allowed us to create such an emotional connection that my mother would later call “amazing.”
But, this is not about how we met, it is about love. It is the description of love, as I come by it.
For me, words could NEVER describe the way I feel, but that is too cliche to even try and build anything off of, so let us restart this whole shindig…
Love… As Interpreted by Me. ❤
Warmth.
Attraction- both physical and mental.
Forever feeling indebted to the other.
A shot of whiskey.
Feeling the cool, fall breeze while lying on a moist field.
Security.
The tingly sensation when your hand touches mine, or even when I hear your voice through my phone speaker.
My future.
Passion.
Jumping into a swimming pool in the rain.
Cupping a hot mug of coffee on a winter morning.
Satisfaction.
The adrenaline of riding a rollercoaster for the first time.
Butterflies caged in my stomach, just fluttering around wishing to be released.
Seeing our reunion.
The reunion being so close, it leaves me with the memory of your kiss on my lips.
Holding your hand.
Country music.
Happiness.
Your name appearing on my phone screen and my heart pumping with excitement.
A lifelong partner.
Forever in a numbered amount of days.