A train of thoughts I can’t seem to shake off

Sometimes I wonder why I am always compelled to take out my earphones when I am travelling alone. Is it for the love of music? Is it just so that people can see my custom in-ear monitors and accord me more attention? Or is it just so I can avoid hearing things I don’t want to hear from the people around me? Although sometimes being off the headphones and listening to the stray sounds coming from various sources can be somewhat therapeutic, I fear the last reason is why I am likely to be plugged in whenever I am in a confined environment.

In my opinion, people always seem to be talking about the same things over and over again. One of which is largely about this thing that they desire to have, or happen to miss out upon. Some examples…

“Did you invest in bitcoins? If you did 7 years ago, you would be a rich man by now. It is impossible to be rich or financially independent if you don’t invest. You will never be rich working for someone. Eh, did you know the top prize of the lottery results yesterday is your mobile number? You should always try your luck — you never know when you are the chosen one. Do you know who and who just got promoted to AVP at whereever. Did you see the new car of who and who, the car which is about half a million. Do you do financial planning? You need to know how to manage your assets so that you have enough for retirement, for healthcare, for your family…”

In those statements’ defense, there is nothing wrong. Just that mainstream thinking has never fly with me. Same goes for mainstream behaviors and choices. Same for stone age protocol and doctrine in successful businesses and people — just follow best practices, follow how the successful ones do things, follow the choices of the rich, follow the choices of the popular, follow the choices of the influencer, follow the choices of the beautiful… I’m not sure if it is the need to be different; in any case, the value we get in exchange for following them is anything but things that threaten our survival. Is it that important after all? Life is much more interesting when you look at multiple things, look at things that people aren’t looking at, and look at new things. After all, one adage is that life is short right? Instead of just following, look at things with your mind and heart and follow them if they say so.

BUT, should you look back then? Should you regret? Should you try to forcefully change things? Reverse the outcomes? Most likely not — the process of undoing those knots would cost you more than the effort and benefit of new knots. After all, those knots still hold things in place right? And you should have already a clear idea when you made those knots in the first place. See? The necessity of conscious effort to make choices is inevitable. Please do it.

People are failing badly this thing called commitment these days. I am no different. But what if this commitment thing is not within your say; it involves another party as well? What are you going to do? Nightshades are increasingly being planted in the backyards of people. There are two points about this. One, interfering in other people’s relationship when you do not really have a legitimate entrance ticket in the first place. Two, the owner of the backyard allowing the nightshade to grow into something more menacing and more vicious. You cannot escape the inevitable at the end of the day — to decide who. One whom you probably know few weeks, few months or few years, and the other someone who the duration is not important because both of you are legally bound together.

It’s strange, the owner of the backyard can probably fall in love with someone else in the end again (the third person), yet the intruder does not bother about this when he/she is intruding. Likewise, intruding consciously does say something about the intruder, yet the owner of the backyard does not care. How much confidence should there be in a relationship that hasn’t been tested, a relationship that is built upon the undoing of old and tying of new knots?

The fact is that the grass is always greener on the other side, because your own shadow is covering the patch of grass you are standing on right now. The new gadgets will always look more pristine and exquisite because your existing one is already tarnished after many years of use. Don’t forget your existing gadget was once pristine and exquisite too. Somebody new is always interesting, but isn’t everybody new always different and interesting? Regret as a negative emotion is always more hurting than the bliss from happiness. Should you then confer more attention to regret? I would say don’t bother. Take it like jab, gain the immunity, and move on.

Make decisions after sufficient thoughts. If you don’t, the culprit and victim at the end of the day is no one else but you.

Like what you read? Give Randy Lee a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.