RM
RM
Jul 25, 2017 · 1 min read

The word play here is great, especially that early line “keys on a board,” you can feel a certain energy in the imagery and it was fun seeing how you connected writing with act of making love. My only comment would be towards the end, in the stanza that includes “like a book by famous writer who just phoned it in.”

While reading that part I sort of stumbled with it, I don’t really know how to explain but I feel like the pacing or fluidity of the poem didn’t quite align with this part, maybe because the sentence is longer that the others? Or maybe because the phrase “phoned it in” sounded, I don’t know, a bit too modern or casual when compared to the breezy, poetic voice the preceded it?

Just my opinion of course, but I thoroughly enjoyed the piece.

    RM

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    RM

    Writer of stuff.

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