When Validation For Your Current Life Comes From HBO’s “Ballers”…

Jazmyn Simon as “Julie Greane” & Omar Benson Miller as “Charles Greane” on HBO’s “Ballers”

Last week was hard. This weekend was harder. I have never ever wanted to give up so bad ever. EVER. I wrote and deleted about 50 Facebook posts. But it was good to get it out. But I just, I wanted to be done and go live in the forest somewhere never to return.

So today; I worked out, did a little bit of writing, cooked, meditated and finally sat down to take a BREAK. Cause I’ve been WRITING. And creating. And producing. And…I was tired. And still broke, shit.

FLASHBACK: SO, last month, I was hired to write two scenes for an actor who was shooting his own scenes to add to his reel. He asked me for a comedy scene. I wrote a scene that I titled “Manny” and it was about an uptight-ish woman who hires a male nanny aka “Manny”. The client loved it, and I got my check and moved on.

CURRENT DAY: So, I sit down to watch TV and turn on the latest episode of HBO’s “Ballers”. THERE IS A SCENE, where a wife of one of the characters hires a MALE NANNY called MANNY and their dialogue is pretty much almost exactly what I wrote.

Today, I got up and got to work and then (trusting another instinct), have legit started making plans to produce a musical. This morning we were talking and found ourselves chatting in depth about some legit ideas. MIND YOU, I‘d also already been researching theatre production this morning of my own volition.

I stopped and said to myself “what the hell do you think you’re doing!?” but then, you know, musicals take years to develop anyway, so I’m going to keep going because by the time I get the money, it’ll be done. LOL. But, trusting my instincts with that, and…it just FEELS right.

LASTLY — another one of my friends who is a working television writer asked me for notes on their pilot. So I read it and gave detailed critique. They thought it was great. Then, a few days later, they tell me they let other writers in the room for the show they work on read it, and THEY PRETTY MUCH GAVE THEM THE SAME NOTES I DID.

They circled back and said “you have really good instincts.”

Got some cards read also last week (Note: new thing for me but I’m big on energy these days) that I felt were leading to trust myself, trust the timing of things and be patient…

SO, I’m doing whatever the hell I want to do. I’m going to write whatever script I want to write. I’m going to adapt whatever book I want to adapt. Because I gotta trust my instincts. I gotta do what I gotta do because I’m no longer just doing whatever. Nope.

Trust your instincts. Keep on going. And be honest with yourself. Know it won’t be easy but, you won’t ever feel “settled” in life until you do what you gotta do to get to where you’re actually supposed to be. I feel like finally, THIS IS IT. There’s way too much coincidence and signs and serendipitous moments for me to ever think otherwise. And I’m READY. These tears are tears of amazement and joy and relief. Short term pain is going to be worth this long term happiness.

I never ever thought I’d even remotely be trying to do what I’m trying to do but here I am. What is that?

My company, Adjacent Media, will be creating content of all types that predominantly features or is created by PoC, worldwide. I want to enable ownership of intellectual property by these creators, and continue to champion laws that are fair and reflective of the times we live in. There’s no limits to creativity and the same will be said of Adjacent Media. We root for the underdogs and we will continue to look for potential amongst all walks of life. We will listen to those who have never had a chance to speak up. We will make things that people will watch and won’t be shocked that something quality reflects how they look and act in real life. I want to enable creators to just CREATE, and not just the “genius” ones either. There’s so much out there and people are living life everyday and creating more experiences to share that someone may benefit from, and I want to find and tap them and empower them. I just want to help, and help myself. I want to be in business but not like everyone else is right now. We will disrupt. We will be forces for change of systems at all levels in entertainment. For us, by us, and for everyone else who just sees people and humans, finally.

I’m going to do it.

And someone please tell The Rock thanks and I’d love to buy him a coffee! This show really did something for me today, and I almost never watched it because I didn’t have faith. But clearly that was my flaw. It’s fixed now. Excuse me, Mr. Johnson!!

I hope this spur of the moment emotional post doesn’t have too many errors. Happy Monday!

Note: I’m quite aware that some of the concepts I talk about here are probably not 100% original thoughts as the world is big and wide, ha, but you get the drift!