Ten Things to Do Now That You’re Completely Numb

Keep refreshing Twitter because why not

Attempt to write a satirical take on the news oh what’s the point

Explore the bottom of the Doritos bag and remember that time you laughed about the chips for women thing god that was eons ago wasn’t it

Paint your bedroom a seasonally appropriate color because you’ll never sleep again and Sherwin Williams sent you one of those 40% coupons

Stream your favorite show even though somehow it reminds you of Nazis

Go for a hike because scenic screaming is very ‘in’

Watch dog videos because they aren’t part of the 53% of white women that voted in the 2016 election

Attach your fitness tracker to the ceiling fan so you can beat all of your friends at fitness challenges while lying in the fetal position

Celebrate the fact that even math is useless since we can agree on no objective set of facts

Rachel Mans McKenny

Writer. Mostly harmless/water. Stuff in McSweeney’s, The Rumpus, Electric Lit, etc. rachelmansmckenny.com

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