I Hate You Underwear
Why must you always twist and not stay in your original place? You migrate from left to right and up and down. You just cannot stay in one place no matter how important the day is. You might look good and feel comfortable when properly positioned but you never stay that way. If I had a dollar for every time you moved and made me uncomfortable, I could rival the fortune of Donald Trump. I want to be able to make it through the day without having to constantly think about my crooked underwear. Why can’t you treat me how I treat you? I wash you and provide you with shelter. You have one job, to not move and you can’t even complete that simple task. If you keep up these shenanigans I might just have to change brands and then you would be left out in the cold hard world. I will end you.