Relationships: Online Dating Etiquette 101
Hello everyone,
So as I go thru the process of searching online again, I’ve been reminded of how much things have changed (Or in this case forgotten or not taught) over the last 20 years. People have become lazy, inconsiderate, rude, impatient, & lack in communication skills…
Conversations are like Relationships in the fact that it’s a two-way street. Both parties have to engage, think, listen, verbalize, & ask questions. If one party is doing all the talking & the other only offers a vague comment back, these one-sided conversations can end quickly, or send the wrong signal. This in-turn, will most likely end with them walking away in favor of someone who can have a good conversation. Everyone deserves to feel like they are being heard & listened to, NOT an after-thought from someone doing other things…
With that said, here are some good reminders of what you should be doing during a conversation (Whether it’s on-line or in-person):
- Time is Important: Everyone has limited time for things like conversations. Please remember that if you can’t devote yourself to the conversation (Your doing chores, work, homework, having other conversations, playing games, driving, etc), DON’T start a conversation…
- Like-wise, if someone starts a conversation with you but you’re busy, let them know right-off from the start. If you become busy during the conversation, let the other person know. It’s called being considerate & thoughtful of the other person…
- Focus: You can’t devote fully to a conversation if you’re multiple conversations at the same time, not to mention RUDE. Scammers & players like to do this; so unless you want to be considered one, DON’T do it…
- Be Polite: This is especially true when talking to people from other countries. People forget that not everyone is brought-up in the same way, use terms differently, have different customs & traditions. Two examples of this:
A) In the Philippines, you may hear someone use the term Niger. It sounds like the derogatory term used in the US, but in this case, it refers to dark or black (As in a color). Yes, they have a wide-range of color variation in the Philippines…
B) In the US you hear the term Bitch used a lot. If you call someone that in the Philippines, you’re basically calling them a whore. Be prepared to be assaulted, or possibly worse, because they can get you arrested under the Catcalling Law (Republic Act 7610)… - Be On-Time: If you promised to meet/call at 10pm, then don’t expect them to still be waiting for you at 10:30pm. If you’re going to be more than 5 minutes late, then let them know ASAP…
- Don’t be Racist, Sexist, or Prejudiced: Do I really need to go into this one? I will say this though; Men: DON’T ask a woman for nudes, sex-cam, etc. Only low-value men do this, & only low-value women are going to oblige. Most of the time, they’re just going to block you, end the call & probably report you. Ladies: Don’t be polite about it or ignore it; don’t let low-value men treat you like this. No warnings, just End the call, Block them, & Report them. They give men a bad name, & are simply sex-predators…
- NOW, If you’re already in a committed relationship & you’ve already talked about this together, that’s a totally different scenario, and on you if something ends up on the internet, or used to blackmail you…
- Honesty, Understanding, & Patience: This is another vitally important one when talking to someone from another country (Goes w/ #3). Be Honest with them, if you don’t 100% understand something, ask, & have patience. Again different uses of terms, different sentence structure taught, & if they don’t speak English often, there’s bound to be miscommunication or misunderstandings. Learn each other’s Traditions & Customs. Don’t hide things that are going to come-up anyways, & make you look like you were hiding it…
- Don’t Over-share / Overwhelm: Don’t avalanche them with a million things all at once. You can follow #6 without overwhelming & probably scaring them away. Learn timing & patience. Also, until you know that you can absolutely Trust them with the information you give, DON’T share it. Don’t get suckered in by a scammer, stalker, sex-slave kidnapper, killer, etc. If you’re doing web-cam or video calls, be mindful of what they can see in the background, out of a window, on a label of a package or envelope, etc. Be careful, & think first…
- Ask Lots of Questions: Engage in the conversation, be interested in learning about each other, keep the conversation going. If you’ve been talking for a while, or not good at coming up with topics, here are a few suggestions: Topics for Conversations (Article), 622 Questions (Article), & The Big Questions (Article). When you’re far away from each other, it’s easy to forget about some aspects of compatibility. That’s why it’s so important to ask every question under the sun. Bad compatibility = bad/ending relationship…
- Be Expressive: In LDRs, all you have is video, audio, text, & Quality Time together. There’s NO Physical Touch, being there in-person, sometimes you can’t even video call (You can’t see them, their expressions or actions). That’s why it’s so important to be Express yourself. It also helps them feel like you’re engaging in the conversation. Don’t be Succinct, be VERBOSE…
- Goodbye / Not Interested: We’ve all had them. We have a conversation only to find that you’re total opposites, or you don’t like them at all. Don’t be rude (Unless it’s #5), simply say “Thank You, but I don’t think it’s going to work between us”. Don’t just disappear, stop responding, or block someone. Have some decency & speak-up first. If they persist after that, then by all means, but at least be a human & say something first…
I hope these ten tips help you out, & I strongly plead with you to use them. Use common sense, politeness, & consideration.
Safe journeys…
Link to the original article: Relationships: Online Dating Etiquette 101
***This post is meant for personal reading use only. NO permission is given for copying (in part or whole), or paid / commercial use without Prior permission from me***
