All hail the 27%

When the UK held its now legendary referendum on EU membership in June 2016 the results were very clear:

  • 16,141,241 people voted to remain a member of the European Union.
  • 17,410,742 people voted to leave the European Union.
  • 31,553,728 people didn’t register their opinion on the subject.

These numbers (based on the official voting figures and most recent census data) mean that 27% of the people in the UK actively voted to leave the EU, while 25% actively voted to stay. The remaining 48% took a more passive stance (admittedly because some were chilling with a rusk and watching Peppa Pig).

Since that landmark day, the government of the UK, supported by key pillars of the media, have been quite clear that the “will of the people” must be adhered to. To remove any doubt, this means the will of the 27% who explicitly voted to leave the EU.

Given the high profile of this case study it strikes me as only right and proper that other ‘27-percenters’ are duly fast tracked to success and buoyed far above the holders of any other opinion.

To highlight just what we could be missing out on in the world by not developing the rights of the 27%, I’ve collected some recent studies which I’ve shared below. I hope they receive the boost they so obviously deserve as the very clear ‘will of the people’.

Therefore all men should receive a blow job and nobody should get a raise. After all, it is the ‘will of the people’.

Therefore, perfect Donny Osmond teeth all round as a matter of principle, no dodgy fillings for ANYONE. If you’re caught with yellowing gnashers you will be roundly mocked and possibly encouraged to emigrate. It’s the ‘will of the people’ guys.

Therefore nobody should be allowed to tolerate a world in which an Audi A3 cannot chat blithely to Alexa or an internet connected foot-stool. If you would prefer your Citroen Picasso didn’t hang out with your Nest Protect then you can fuck off.

Therefore all walls featured on commuter routes, no matter how big or small, must be primarily used to provide retail therapy. No holding up ceilings, no room demarcation, no leaning on them or hanging up cork boards. If you’re caught moaning about over commercialisation and the horrifying control of big business in every area of our lives, then you are basically committing treason.

This is truly people voting with their actions. Not just a vote, but a clear demonstration of the very ‘will of the people’. How could anyone deny this?The stats are clear: Americans don’t need books. Therefore all libraries should be turned into ice cream parlours and any mention of the Kindle, EL James or ‘perfect binding’ should be scrubbed from the internet. Netflix Originals will be forced to refrain from using the words ‘chapter’, ‘page’ or ‘spine’, home owners must destroy book-shelves with axes and bookmarks will, from now on, be known as ‘blank rulers’. Anyone who disagrees with this quite sensible course of action will be assumed a terrorist and paper-cut to death.

These are the validated opinions of the 27%. 
These are the ‘will of the people’.