Strictly speaking, you cannot tell one from the other. It seems your self-reflection is skewed. But who will tell you the truth? A stranger, perhaps. Or your best friend. Do you have one? I suppose I would or could if I didn’t mind fracturing our semblance of a relationship. And you’re far from all bad. You have not reconciled your demons. Beautiful and quite troubled. You know not what you do, but your words are imbued with venom. You have yet to sort yourself.

I am not asking for perfection. I’m asking for progress. Make headway within yourself. Perhaps you have and this ritual takes longer than expected. Perhaps you do not care to change and have grounded yourself in obscure principles. Maybe you will continue moving through life in you current state. One is not required to grow. Let me know how it goes.

As for me, I have self-selected away from this and you and the things you do. I’m only temporarily concerned even though I may always love you. This is your journey and I cannot direct you. You haven’t asked me to. Examine yourself and find out what is true. Be not your own God. You fall.