I do somewhat the same thing on sites where you can connect anonymously with others and chat about anything. I have spoken to people out their depression, anxiety, the abuse they have suffered, the horrible things in their lives they have done, their fantasies and their sicknesses. I have learned more about people in the past 2 years from that than I could ever learn in school or books. I have always been one of those people that others open up to, for seemingly no reason whatsoever, though I suspect it is my lack of judgment that is the reason. I have heard some truly horrific stories, ones that make my life seem so blessed, which is funny, since when I have told my story most people act like my life has been so hard. This is a wake up call for anyone that thinks their life is hard, just sit for a few hours and listen to some of the troubles and issues that people have been through who have nowhere to turn, and you cannot feel bad about your life, no matter how bad it is.

In the past two years I have learned that parents can truly be monsters, and it is way more common than I ever thought before. Even the ones who aren’t technically abusive can really mess their kids up. I have also found that many people who are abusers have been abused themselves, which is no revelation by any means, but it is interesting to hear their abuse as well to put it in context with the bad things they have done.

I have heard from people who hurt themselves, engage in dangerous sexual situations, attempt suicide, hear voices, or just plain old want to die. Some are actively looking for people to kill them, hurt them, even rape them, which came as a surprise to me. But what I try to do is listen to their reasoning, let them speak about it, at length, get out their thoughts, try to let them know I am listening, and care, and will try to do my best to help if I have the ability. Usually just listening to them is enough, as so few people ever do.

You are also right that many of these people do have therapist’s or some official help, and it does them little to no good. I think part of the reason they trust me at first is the anonymity, if we stay in contact that trust transfers to relative anonymity to even the point where we become friends and know each other as people, which is nice. I think therapists and psychologists are bogged down by the “rules”, they are trained to say or do certain things, report people who are suicidal or threatening, or if they do anything illegal. When I speak to them, I can’t report them, I do not know who they are. So they can literally tell me anything. The freedom of anonymity is what makes all the difference.

I have met some wonderful people, some who I have been speaking to for over 2 years now. I had once been a member of another online social group, and I am still in contact with a few of those people from 5 years ago as well, though it was not as anonymous of a place. I have even met up with close to 15 people over the past 5 years that I met on the internet in various places, some have even stayed with me. Anyone who thinks the internet does not have an amazing reach has not done their homework. I have spoken to people all over the world, in many continents and dozens of countries, and my knowledge of the world is greater than ever due to it. Cultural norms can be spoken about, you can learn what it is like to live in another place without even being there.

Monetarily speaking, it has put a bit of a drain in my life, as sometimes it can almost an addiction to try and talk to people and help them. I wish I was independently wealthy so I could do it even more, but I still have to work and struggle with my own financial issues as well. I have thought about writing a book or essays or something; creating a way to put the info out there and make people more aware of some of the issues that are current in the world, but monetizing anything is very hard, and of course, I do not want that to be my motivation.

All in all I would not trade in the past couple years for anything, and I hope to be able to be more of a help to others as well. The idea of being there for someone to tell that one dark secret to that they swore they would never share is enough of a payment.