For someone so quick to defend against judgement, you seem a bit hasty to judge an earnest…
Brian Berneker

Now, I don’t know you and can only gather a small amount of info from the things you have said so far, but once again I think you are making a mistake with your assumptions. You assumed that I was defending you being judgmental in general, which I was not. If this were an article about living expenses in big cities, or the cost of groceries, then judge away. If this were a hypothetical article on what the costs are on this nation in regards to rape, then I could see you having a point. But this was HER costs on HER rape, and this was HER way of dealing with it, right or wrong. You CAN judge her, but I think it is in very poor form, especially in this forum. Even more so, as I said very clearly in what I wrote, I believe she is strong enough to handle your criticism, I was not in any way coming to her rescue, I was commenting on what I think is poor form on your part. Rape is a much more personal thing than almost anything else in the world, and can illicit some pretty intense feelings AND reactions. If she were a war veteran, would you be as quick to criticize her making a monetary balance sheet of the costs of her trauma? At least a war veteran made a choice to put themselves in a situation that traumatize them, but few people would ever write what you did to a war veteran adding up the costs of what their traumatic events were. She was a victim, a victim of a crime, no different than if you are robbed on the street, or beaten for being a certain color, or hit by a drunk driver. Do these acts of violence by people participating in illegal activities not have victims? Do these victims not have monetary costs involved in their treatment? There is something called Crime Victim Compensation :

this is available to people who have suffered at the hands of criminals. Why would you judge her making a tally sheet to help her deal with her issues? You’re not the one paying for it, in fact, she’s not even applying for it as far as I can tell, this seems to be a thing she is doing to help her mental state, and since there are no victims nor actual cost for what she is doing I think your words would be much better used for people who play the victim in other aspects of life to benefit from others, or to have a pity party for themselves, not people who have actually suffered from serious crimes that people take too lightly in this world.

By the way, I did not call you tone deaf, that was someone else, if you feel the need to defend yourself against that statement you might want to do that by responding to their comment.

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