Roller Coaster

You begin your day already making lists of all the achievements you need to get through. When its half past midday, you already have the feeling that the day is over and there’s no salvation or whatsoever. I mean calories, I mean paperwork, I mean movies to watch, things to write. When you realise, you’re thinking excessi

vely and trying to fill your brain and mind with information, knowledge and bullshit. It’s 3 pm and you’re so bloody tired you could fall asleep on your keyboard. Now it’s 6 and you forget you’ve been tired all day. You feel like yelling at people when it’s 7, because you’re 20 and haven’t done much in your life — and there are plenty of people reinventing the wheel. Why aren’t you one of them? You feel frustrated. It’s 8 and you’re electric, planning tomorrow, planning your future. It’s 9 and it feels like Sunday. No more frustration, but conformation towards your achievements — after all, they’re enough. “I should care more”, you think. “ I should definitely care less”, you complain.
You plan your future house, you consider you have no money on your account. You buy a new piece of clothing, you remember you are still on a diet. You write. You can’t read. It’s 12 am and you’re upset you’re going to bed so late. “Tomorrow will be different”. And it ends up being exactly the same.