Marina, I’m with you.
One thing I learned early in sobriety from a speaker tape (cassette — just dated myself) was to understand what my options were.
Lots of people are afraid of the dentist. I was one. But my options were 1) go the dentist, deal with my fear, and find a way to pay for it, or 2) not go.
What I really wanted was option 3) go to the dentist, not be afraid, and not have to pay for it. But option 3) didn’t exist.
Most of life is like that. We want options that don’t exist, instead of deciding from among the options that we have.
In the case of the little boy, option 3) might have been to not forgive his mother, see her carried off in chains, play the victim for all it was worth, and still have a happy, healthy, self-confident, empowered life. But victim and empowered life don’t go together. They’re like oil and water.
So option 3) didn’t ex… Well, you know.
And come to think of it, maybe that’s not a bad thing. If the little boy saw his mother dangling from the gallows, that would bring a whole other set of problems with it. We rarely know what’s best for us, or for other people. There are reasons why things happen as they do.
Thank you for the comment. Best.