Lotion is Totally Badass | 100 Days of Paying it Forward [Day 22]

For my 22nd Day of 100 days of Paying It Forward, I want to share a piece of knowledge that I picked up over the years that has been really helpful to me:

Midwestern White Men: You need lotion in your life

I’m serious. It’s hot AF in NYC right now and I would be dead w/o it.

If you’re a white male living in the middle of the country bro you need to be putting lotion on your skin everyone who touches you wants me to tell you that. I know what you’re thinking: WTF am I talking about, but hear me out. It was not until my early 30s that I was introduced to the idea that I needed to use lotion because I’m a white male from the Midwest and I had never heard this crazy idea. The culture of the Midwest is relatively homogeneous and especially for men it does not include lathering up with lotion every day, so I legit had no idea how much your skin needs lotion until I broke out into hives going through my divorce and a doctor chastised me and I gave it a try. It’s changed my life.

You see, it really all gets down to being ashy. White people if you do not use lotion all the time, you are ashy af but you just don’t know it because guess what ashy is THE SAME COLOR as white so you wouldn’t know it. If you’re not white, then your elbows and knees and whatever else start to dry out and they get ashy and you put lotion on, very standard procedure for your whole life. Also, if you’re not from the Midwest and you grow up around different ethnic groups in a large city, you’re going to be exposed to lotion at an early age (like I was in my 30s) and you already know what I’m talking about regardless of being white or not. But mostly, this is a newsflash for white men in the Midwest who have no idea.

Here’s how it works. Your skin is dry, lotion makes it not dry. When you’re thirsty you drink some water because your insides are dry, and the water makes it not dry. Lotion is like water for your skin, it’s totally badass. If you put lotion on your skin it makes it more elastic and you can look younger longer, it makes it soft and smooth so that when people touch it they enjoy it instead of turning away horrified, and it makes it so that your body temperature adjusts more easily to being hot in the summer because you’re not drying out like a sausage in the sun. Your girl wants you to put on lotion, your skin wants you to put on lotion, even Hannibal Lecter wanted you to put on lotion, so do yourself a favor and pickup a bottle of ANY lotion (I like cocoa butter but that’s just me) and start putting it on your arms and legs (concentrate on knees and elbows) and you’ll feel great.

I know this is different than “Start a business” but I know what the culture of back home is like and I didn’t pick up this info there so I wanted to share it and pay it forward because I literally FEEL better because of lotion. Hope this helps!

Robert is the Founder of Nice Tattoo Parlor. Robert has worked in startups, advertising and brand-building in senior roles for nearly 10 years. Most recently, Robert was VP of Operations at Vox Media where he developed their native revenue strategy and oversaw video. Prior to Vox Media, Robert re-launched Global Grind for Russell Simmons (Acquired by iOne), helped re-launch Shape Magazine for AMI (Acquired by Meredith), and before all this re-launching, started Glassbooth.org and IHadCancer.com while working as a lawyer and advertising exec (shouts to Squeaky) respectively.