A game of vultures

Who to trust and who to avoid? 5 signs of a vulture.

When you’re young and you’re trying to make your mark on the world, there’s plenty of people out there who will try to take advantage of it.

People who act good don’t always do good. You’ll learn that the hard way.

For me, there was this time when a celebrity I had admired for years turned out to be nothing more than a high-paid consultant. He’d never actually built anything but managed to take all the credit for it, and loved to associate himself with new talent to get more speaking gigs. Then there was a journalist who wanted me to buy a $3,000 ticket for his conference after interviewing me twice for “a national newspaper article” that never materialized. Or there was that investor that actually hadn’t invested in a company for the last 10 years, but just liked having coffee with people for 3 hours and tell them how to live their lives. For fun.

Those people are what you call: vultures.

It’s hard to spot them, especially for people who are just starting out in life or in a new industry of work. Most of them don’t even mean harm, and are just unclear about their intentions or their interest. But they won’t provide you with any value, even though your initial interest in their achievements have made you sacrifice a huge amount of your time, or your money if you’re really unlucky.

Meanwhile, you’re missing out on the the things that can help you get ahead. That’s why it’s so crucial for you as a person who wants to grow in your industry to identify vultures. Thank them for their time and move on. In fact, having a good filter for vultures might help in every aspect of your life as you make friends and get to know people. Here’s how…

How to spot a vulture

1. Vultures prey on the work of others

Has this person made something that you think is great? That should be your first step. This might sound rather obvious, but it’s really easy for someone to pretend like they’ve built stuff or made something. Hard work is not for them. Pretending to do hard work, taking credit for things they had barely any involvement in, that’s their M.O.

So when you meet someone, ask them: “What’s the last thing you made?” With the follow up question: “Can you show it to me?” If this question causes the person to walk away, in disgust of your lack of knowledge of their awesome creations: congratulations! You’ve spotted a vulture in the wild.

2. A vulture will circle the same spot

Now that you know this person can actually make something, you need to check if it’s recent work. This is not to say that the best work is the most recent. It will however verify that the person you’re talking to is still actively involved in whatever they’re passionate about.

It’s often too easy for someone who has had a single success to coast on that for years. You shouldn’t be a person who indulges that. What’s relevant for you are the things you are struggling with right now. Things change fast, and this vulture might’ve not realized how far you’re ahead of them already. Past achievements should be respected, but are they still relevant to you? Check.

3. Vultures never think they’re wrong

It doesn’t matter how good someone is, how experienced they are, or how knowledgeable they are in a subject. At one point in their life, they have been wrong. Great people, often the most successful ones, will welcome anyone tells them they’re wrong about something. They’ll learn from it and become better.

A vulture is sure that they are right 100% of the time, and will treat anyone who thinks different as a non-believer and weirdo. Don’t be afraid to confront a vulture and disprove any advice they’ve given you.

4. Vultures don’t have ears

They literally don’t. So that explains why the person you’re talking to isn’t really listening to you. Vultures will ignore the questions you’re asking or the arguments you’re making, and continue to drive home their own thoughts of wisdom, even if it’s completely irrelevant of what you’re discussing.

Vultures hold themselves back that way. When you ask them a question, they could easily see it as a creative challenge and learn something. They could open up to your inquiries about their background, and share some knowledge that is applicable to your situation. But they’re too in love with the sound of their own voice.

When you meet someone, are you having a balanced conversation, where you spend as much time talking as they are?

5. Where there’s a vulture, there’s a carcass

Vultures annoy and obstruct people all the time. It’s in their nature. They can’t help it. That means that others have been there before you. Their carcass is lying around somewhere.

So make the rounds before you really invest your time in someone. Have they helped others before? Who helped them get where they are? What kind of people should be their biggest fan? Even though this seems obvious, most people simply don’t do this because they don’t want to gossip. There’s no harm in checking a reference though.

Of course a single critic doesn’t mean you should immediately avoid a person. But there are green, yellow and red flags. Be aware of the last one.

Trust, but verify

What worked during the Cold War works for vultures too.

It’s hard to trust people, and this is by no means an attempt to keep people at arms length. In fact, your life will be so much better if you welcome new people in it. The point is that making meaningful relationships with people takes time. You shouldn’t waste that time on investing in people that will never invest that same effort in you.

No vultures were harmed in the writing of this article. They’re useful animals and you should donate to preserve them. You should listen to their music too. But as humans, they’re pretty bad. Thanks to the vultures I’ve met for teaching me that. You jerks.