Your will is your salvation. I know advice is cheap and specific to the person offering it. Still. The strength you exhibit in your writing can be used to provide you life. Here goes: too many ways to try to stem the lows while not relinquishing the highs. Just do one thing, just one. It’s the most simple. It’s Occam’s Razor but as a directive not an explanation. When the highest high prevents intellectual consideration of that very fact — it’s the highest not the most normal, and the lowest low makes you unable to acknowledge the same, employ the one thing you have convinced yourself of: change in mood or temperament does not occur in a vacuum; it does not occur as a result of thoughtful consideration. It occurs because time passes. Make time pass. Say what I have always said to handle both extreme highs and lows: Do The Next Thing. If that’s the dirty dishes, do them. If that’s take a shower, take it. Run or if that’s write a novel, write it. Reduce or increase endorphins naturally — by lapse of time. Keep doing it until you feel yourself doing it. You will notice you’re thinking about how to do the task, the best way, the end result. It doesn’t matter how trivial, how menial the chore or event. Let your creative self go. Sometimes it is very, very hard, but the command focuses so pointedly, so relentlessly, so perfectly, that it irresistible. Emotions are inherently subservient to the will. but we forget that lesson — learned as a child. You have a true, wonderful style and that comes from an autonomic system of observation of the world. Observe and accept the strength of your will.